Adult Continuity Presents: Porno Pikachu pt 1: Pornstars GO!

GameStop, Inc.

Pornstar Go!

Brazzers Studios

 

Being the social media gadfly that I am and understanding the importance/necessity of riding on the coattails of big media events AND noticing that I’m way overdue for an entry into my Adult Continuity column I’ve made the decision to exploit a beloved kids property for my own ends.

Meaning that I’m doing Pokemon Porn Parodies!

I had in my copious assortment of adult entertainment (hidden shamefully in a cardboard box in my garage ) two different Pokemon parodies. One is a Henti animation title called “Gotta fuck ‘em all” and the other is a live action hoedown that goes by “Pornstar Go!” Today I’ll tackle the live action one and tomorrow I’ll give the animation fuckfest a good rogering. So sit back and let me do the wandering into dangerous areas with my head down, eyes fixated on “Pornstar GO!” so you don’t have to!

 

The three of you that read this column (hi mom!) might remember I reviewed a Pokemon parody a few years ago as part of the Ten Inch Mutant Turtles review. Well, nobody learned their lesson apparently because parodies are still popping up. Cashing in on the “Pokemon Go!” phenomenon a few years ago Brazzers did a parody of the location based game only a year too late. It’s called “Pornstar Go!”

Now I’ll have to admit that my knowledge of “Pokemon Go” covers the bare basics about Pokemon, a passing interest in location based augmented reality and being humored by the stories of people incriminating themselves with the game. Really that’s all I need to work with “Pornstar Go”. A dude with a russian accent so thick that you can’t understand the three words he utters dresses up like… Ash, I guess, goes out with the app and sees various porn girls dressed in what the seasonal Spirit Halloween stores would shameless term “Sexy”.

You got Charmander, Pikachu and what I think is Blastortoise. I’m probably dead wrong about Blastortoise but seeing as how the original monster was never dressed in blue lingerie with its tits revealed I’m making a best guess here. The girls are Alexa Tomas, Ella Hughes and Patty Michova. The dude is some dude who basically is replaced in my imagination with myself so it doesn’t matter. The whole thing is pretty lean on story but the locative graphics overlaid on the video is fairly good with a counter ticking down to how close dude is to a Pornstar and a window showing which one is ahead. Dude captures each Pornstar (I can’t decide if I should be saying Pornstar, Pokemon or some mash-up like Pornemon) with vaginal beads and then they come over and perform fellatio on him.

 Now THAT’S A KILLER APP!

Here is the one joke that could be reasonably squeezed in; it’s a augmented reality game… Dude keeps getting caught with his pants down holding his phone over his hard dick. One guy calls him a perv while tossing a watering can at him and another onlooker threatens to call the cops.

Dude makes it back to his crib and finds the Pikachu Pornemon. In a happy ending in both of the meanings there is a three Pornemon on russian dude bang out.

Competently shot, lit and edited “Pornstar Go!” Is an amusing little distraction in the mold of most online porn parodies. Namely some half hearted costumes, enough fan service to know that somebody at least asked their 12 yr old nephew about it and multiple orifice penetration.  It doesn’t really have the wit of a Woodrocket joint but none of the other online studios even come close in that department. So, no foul. All in all if story isn’t a big thing needed in your porn (really, you don’t have to say it does, we’re all friends here) you could do a lot worse than this Brazzers parody. It’s only about fifteen though so the dvd also contains Parodies of Overwatch, Dragonball Z and Street Fighter but I’m keeping focused strictly on Pokemon here. At least as far as you sick monkeys are concerned.

It’s not quite “Game of Thrones” time spending but it sure ain’t “Kevin can wait” either.

 

Thoughts tangential to the main text but I couldn’t fit in organically

My chromebook’s autocorrect knows the proper spelling of Pikachu, Blastortoise and is even ok with Pornemon. What’s that about?

 Oh, it also knew the correct spelling of “fellatio”.

I never played Pokemon Go! Just the not as popular but I don’t care cause I’m cool Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Links.

The Overwatch parody looked nicely lit with pretty good costumes but I needed to get this written and I needed to hydrate.

 

Tomorrow the inexorable cross promotion death march continues! I find out what the hell is going on with my first ever “Henti” review when I look at “Gotta Fuck ‘em All” an ostensible Pokemon Henti parody.

 

Anytime Costumes

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