Your cosplay fantasies come to life, but way better and sexier – Suicide Girls Blackheart Burlesque
I first experienced a Suicide Girls performance in the summer of 2013. I believe I was at the IGN Comic-Con party and there were some ladies dancing as stormtroopers on stage. Then the beat dropped and the next thing I know the ladies were only in the helmets, nipple tape, and their underwear. I had no idea what was going on, not complaining, but if you’ve heard my nerd set of my stand up, I blame the Suicide Girls for ruining Star Wars for me because I now have a strange attraction to stormtroopers. Fast forward 4 years later, and I was finally able to see the Suicide Girls whole show, the Blackheart Burlesque.
Before I go into the show, just want to help promote it. Head over to blackheartburlesque.com to find out when the Suicide Girls are performing near you and pick up your tickets. You can also sign up for a membership to their site and get to see all the pictures and videos these girls take. All 3,000+ of them.
But back to the Blackheart Burlesque. I don’t know what it is, but there is something infinitely more sexy about a well done Burlesque than going to a strip club. Not that there is anything wrong with strip clubs, or strippers’ performances, which are beautiful in their own right. But something about a welldone burlesque performance is intoxicating. I think it’s more sensual than sexual, though it is plenty sexual.
The night began with an opening act, the Dishrag Burlesque. These lovely ladies show a little less skin but have some very unique outfits created from dishrags and other household items that are very tantalizing. Thier performance was great, and a perfect way to start the evening. I particularly liked their piece with a giant slit cloth that they would weave in and out of. It was kind of hypnotic, much in a way that ghosts move, but also sexy.
After the Dishrag Burlesque opening act, the Blackheart Burlesque kicked off in full swing. The Blackheart Burlesque was hosted by Katherine Suicide who radiates charisma and power. She led the night’s festivities with this exotic grace that just made you want to do exactly as she said. Her control of the crowd is only amplified by her British accent. She also did the impossible and made the Donnie Darko rabbit creature sexy. There were also 3 different crowd activities where she brought members of the audience on stage. The first was to teach the 6 essential steps to an amazing lapdance. The second was to test the reading comprehension of a “smart” looking man (a guy wearing glasses) under very “stimulating” circumstances. -THE ONE NIGHT I DIDN’T WEAR MY GLASSES! NEVER AGAIN- and lastly to see which lady in the audience could do the best striptease. Katherine Suicide was witty, charming, and dominating the entire night, and can work the crowd like the best of them.
The performances throughout the night paid homage to lots of our favorite franchises, and to be honest, played on a lot of popular role-play/cosplay fantasies. There was Adventure Time, Sailor Moon, Star Trek, Star Wars, Zelda, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Westworld, and more. There were also classic burlesque themes like the feather fans but done in their own unique way. Each performance was brilliantly performed, showcasing the amazing grace and talent these ladies have. Each piece is expertly choreographed and masterfully performed. There’s a whole array of dancing, ballet, and performance art that is displayed. These ladies can really move. Also, the ladies take their clothes off in the sexiest ways possible. However, and I feel I have to apologize on the behalf of men, but there will probably be some dumbass who yells “Take it off!” There was one near me, so I made sure to use the extent of my 6′ 4″ height to obstruct his 5′ 8″ view. Appreciate the performance fool.
There are two performances that stick out above the rest. All of them were wonderful, and will forever have me associate many of my favorite franchises with the sexy Suicide Girls, but there were two performances I was just enamored by. First, the hula hoop performance. Yes, the wiggling of the body and hips is always sexy especially when done by world class dancers and performers, but what really captured me about this performance, was when they turned down the lights and lit up the hula hoops. It was this whole tease of mesmerizing light and darkness that I couldn’t help but audibly “wow.” The way the hula hooping lights showed and didn’t show the ladies as they removed their clothing was hypnotically exotic. I can’t say “wow” enough.
Then, there was Sunny Suicide and her Little Mermaid ‘Part of Your World’ Parody Song. Sunny can sing! She absolutely nailed the song. She reenacted it perfectly with some risque objects that had the entire ballroom laughing. Then she proceeded to floor the audience with changing the lyrics with naughtier words all while maintaining perfect pitch and tempo. It was the comedic lyricism of Weird Al, the performance charisma of Flight of the Conchords, but all in the beauty that is Sunny Suicide. She performed the whole song without taking off her clothes, and it still was one of my favorite performances of the night. Full disclosure, she did take her clothes off at the end.
The Suicide Girls Blackheart Burlesque is a great time. You got drinks, amazing dance and performance pieces, some laughs, and gorgeous ladies. It’s also your cosplay fantasies brought to life, and done way better. There are very few things that can top that. You can enhance your experience by going VIP, which gets you the ladies’ autographs as well as a picture with them and prime positioning before the show, but that’s about it. If you’re looking for a fun night featuring sexy ladies, there’s no show better than the Suicide Girls Blackheart Burlesque.
The Suicide Girls Blackheart Burlesque is on tour through September, head over to blackheartburlesque.com to see them in a city near you.
