After a handful of amazing matches at WrestleMania 36 Night One, we hit the ground running for night two and here we go!
NXT Women’s World Title: Charlotte Flair vs Rhea Ripley (C)
Flair definitely her father’s daughter, she’s been playing her mind games, but Ripley catches Flair, hits the Riptide and gets a near victory as the referee was slow to get in position to make the count.
Ripley chases Flair out on the floor, but gets several boots trying to get back into the ring, so naturally Ripley hits her with a few head kicks and pulls her to the floor.
Ripley lost her cool and tries to stomp a mud hole into her, hits a suplex and gets another near fall. Ripley keeps kicking Flair, puts her in a body scissors and slaps her around. Ripley rolls over for another two count, Flair gets up, Ripley goes for a big boot, gets caught over the top rope and wrecks Ripley’s left knee over the ropes. Now she’s playing pop’s game and going hard of the knee.
This has seriously turned into an old school 1980s NWA match as Ripley writhes in pain while Flair works her knee over. Ripley hurts Flair’s shoulder for a distraction but as she gets up, Flair gets his and chop blocks her bad knee.
Ripley face plants Flair but continues to writhe in pain, selling the knee, which no one does anymore. Good on you, Ripley for doing your job! Now that was a sick drop kick and still sells the knee. Ripley lands some Jake the Snake Roberts short close lines, manages to get throwing to the floor.
A missile drop kick helped Ripley get a near fall but didn’t sell the discomfort while on the top rope until after she hit big move. She slaps her knee around from the pain and Flair hits another chop block. Ripley is handing some up kicks to keep Flair away, rolls threw, stomps on her chest and Ripley is using a standing cloverleaf submission. Flair rolls through going back after the knee.
Oh man, Flair eats a few boots, even with a moonsault that missed and a spear, she could finish Ripley, but that figure four might do her in! Flair is bridging making it worse for Ripley and Ripley taps.
Winner: New NXT Women’s Champion, Charlotte Flair.
Score: 4 out of 5 for the match, 0 out of 5 for who went over, averages out to a 2 out of 5. This was a total old school 1980s NWA style match that had me wondering which move was going to be the finisher but Flair winning was total trash. WWE buried two of their top NXT women wrestlers. This was definitely the way to open night two of WrestleMania!
Well, WrestleMania night two is already deflating, let’s see what we have next that can save this show. Hopefully, it’s not Gronk playing party boy douche again, what a waste of a big name NFL star.
Aleister Black vs. Bobby Lashley
I forgot this was a match on the car. Lashley is a great person as we talked a few times when he was with Bellator MMA and Lana was a great interview for Total Divas, but this match wasn’t even on my radar. I hope it’s good.
This is a slow burn between the two as this is still having an old school feel. Really? Black shoots in with a low single on Lashley? Okay, for that, I want Lashley to win and he’s got the upper hand for the first part of this match, so that’s good.
Seriously, this is a good technical match but Lana didn’t wake up until Black kicked Lashley in the face and changed the momentum. Again, we go out to the floor. Why do we need so many floor spots? There’s no one there to see it!
Lana distracted everyone, Bobby blows her a kiss and Black hits the Black Mass for a clean victory?
Winner: Aleister Black.
Score: 1.5 out of 5. This was a technical and pointless match with Lana having Eva Marie levels of incompetence for her involvement in this match and I like Lana!
So far, we definitely didn’t need a night two of WrestleMania and Gronk is being interviewed for what? Gronk wants to win the 24/7 Title tonight? Oh boy! Now I have something to look forward to!
Dolph Ziggler vs. Otis
As much as I want Otis and Mandy Rose to get together, I hope she swerves him and was in on it with Sonya Daville to keep the feud alive because tonight has been completely deflated.
Otis catches Ziggler in the corner and is totally running on rage, which gets him dropped by a superkick from Ziggler. Sonya is cheering Ziggler on as he’s trying to take out Otis.
This is a slower burn match and I’m glad that Otis is getting up and getting his Truffle Shuffle on as he Hulks up.
JBL has another line of the night saying Otis reminds him of Ivan Putsky if Putski ate Bam Bam Bigelow.
Oh come on, Otis actually gets distracted by Sonya while doing the caterpillar getting kicked in the nuts. Mandy’s music hits for God only knows why, no one is in the arena. She low blows Ziggler, Otis hits the caterpillar and wins.
Score: 2.5 out of 5, some weird stuff that made zero sense for an empty arena that would have worked for a large crowd. I love that Otis won though.
Last Man Standing: Edge vs Randy Orton
Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good, Please be good!
Orton out of nowhere with an RKO after disguising himself as a camera man. That’s a good start. Another RKO is this going to be a Goldberg/Strauman match? Please don’t be a one move night.
Okay, Edge gets hit with a camera and they start fighting into the backstage area of the Performance Center and it’s getting intense. These guys can survive bad writing. Orton’s trash talking and trying to lynch Edge, calling the referee for not counting. This is what I wanted from a WrestleMania match with a hardcore flavor.
Edge gets hit with a 45 lb plate and still manages to wake up and some point to beat down on Orton. This is finally something worth watch.
The intensity between these two is felt through the screen. This is what WrestleMania should always be about and these two are proving that old school is what whatever this era is called.
Edge and Orton are fighting it out in the…Red Light District of the backstage area as Orton beats the count and pushed back into the ring-ish area. Edge isn’t done beating on Orton and pulls him up, stopping the referee’s count. This has king of turned into a Board Room Brawl as Ege drops an elbow from the light fixtures in the back office on Orton who is laid out on the table.
Hey, look! Ladders left over from last night.
This match is still going on?
Spear on the top of the big rig and Orton is whimpering! They both beat the count, Orton lands the RKO and now they have to beat the count again. Edge selling how battered and bruised he is is pure perfect, especially while Orton gets a couple of steel chairs and crosses under a ladder to get back on top of the truck. Is that foreshadowing of Edge winning as walking under a ladder is bad luck?
After eating a couple of chair shots, Edge possibly put Orton to sleep, but Edge stops the count because he wants to punish Orton. Edge starts crying, which is pure gold, especially leading up to the Con-Chair-To, leading to a count from the referee, while Edge looks on in despair.
Winner: Edge…it’s about time!
Score: 3 out of 5, only because this match was way too fracking long! However, these two are total showmen and everyone else in the WWE can learn by studying these two.
Okay, there is a 24/7 title mauling and Gronk trust falls on top of the guys beating up on Mojo Rowley to win the championship. I hope that counts as one of the matches because this is exhausting. I should have watched a My 600 Lb Life rerun instead.
WWE RAW Tag Team Championship: Angel Garza and Austin Theory vs. Street Profits (C)
Okay, I tap out. I am tired of my emotionally abusive relationship with professional wrestling and I’m taking my potty break right now. I’ll find out who wins when I get back
Winner: Street Profits…and me for retreating to relieve myself.
Why did Bianca Belair show up to help the Street Profits? Wasn’t she starting a feud with Charlotte Flair on NXT or did they scratch that?
Titus O’Neil is taking over hosting duties. If he doesn’t trip off the 15-foot platform like how he slipped under the ring in Saudi Arabia this is a total wash.
Fatal 5-Way WWE SMACKDOWN Women’s Title Match: Sasha Banks vs. Lacey Evans, vs. Tamina vs. Naomi vs. Bayley
Come on ladies, please redeem the opening women’s match.
All of them go after Tamina, making her look super strong, which she finally is getting that recognition after all these years. I hope she goes into business for herself and wins the title.
Bayley and Banks double team Evans, while Tamina is on the floor and Naomi pops up to help Evans. Naomi and Evans shake hands after almost eliminated Banks and Bayley, but Naomi rolls up Evans for a near fall. Tamina gets back in and womanhandles everyone in the ring.
This stupid PPV is going to give me an anxiety attack as Team BAD reunites for 2 seconds and Banks eats a superkick from Tamina.
Evans and Naomi both try to eliminate Tamina but she kicks out then eats a 6-1-9 from Banks. Banks hits a frog splash, Evans hits a moonsault and Naomi a split leg moonsault with all three holding her down to eliminate Tamina. Good, they made Tamina looks strong.
Okay, that double sunset flip by Naomi on Banks and Bayley would have been more impressive if it was Tamina or Nya Jax pulling it off, not someone 5 lbs heavier that each one of them.
Naomi taps out to Banks. Now it’s Banks, Evans and Bayley. Banks and Bayley were the first WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions so if they take out Evans, who they are currently double teaming, they will have to beat up on each other.
Bayley accidentally knees Banks in the face as Evans escapes, gets two near falls and Bayley now goes town on her. Banks is turning on Bayley. They discuss the situation, Bayley redirects a knockout punch, that Banks eats and Evans eliminates her.
It’s down to Bayley and Evans as Bayley takes no time to try to take out Evans.
This match has definitely redeemed the Flair/Ripley match. It would be fun if Nia Jax does a run in, so long as they don’t blare her music in an empty arena, which again, I will call stupid.
Banks comes in with a backstabber, Bayley pins Evans and retains the title.
Winner: Bayley remains the WWE SMACKDOWN Women’s Champion.
Score 3 out of 5, solid match, but that finish should have been for an ordinary Friday night.
Firefly Funhouse Match: John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
If the B Team aren’t part of the Firefly Funhouse, I’m really going to be sad. As of right now I am completely deflated and never felt the energy come back.
I haven’t been this happy to see John Cena wrestle since the Word Life, Spinner Belt Era.
Okay, so like the Boneyard Match, this is a mini-movie fight scene, which I’m cool with, especially with Demon Vince McMahon Puppet! Okay, that just saved WrestleMania. I was scared it was going to be a rip off of Impact Wrestling’s Undead Realm.
This is a strange career highlight reel of John Cena. Wow, Wyatt just sang the Bella Twins theme to Cena, that’s cold blooded.
Wait, if we’re getting a Saturday Night’s Main Event and the Blue Steel Cage poking fun of Hulk Hogan why aren’t there clips of The U.S. Express with Mike Rotunda and Barry Windham, Wyatt’s dad and uncle?
Okay, the Firefly Funhouse just saved Night Two of WrestleMania 36.
A WCW Nitro/NWO spoof on Eric Bischoff and Hollywood Hogan? Okay, at least now I see how Hulk Hogan played into this match.
The Fiend shows up, catches Cena with mandible claw and puts him out…kinda. No one won, no one lost. Wyatt looks strong, Cena didn’t lose. It was a great mini-movie.
Titus O’Neil said it best, “I don’t know what I just saw,” but unlike Titus, I liked it.
WWE Championship: Drew McIntyre vs. Brock Lesnar (C)
Lesnar storms in on McIntyre but McIntyre hits the claymore kick, but Lesnar kicks out! Lesnar throws McIntyre with a third German suplex. Lesnar hits the F-5 and McIntyre kicks out at a one count!
Lesnar executes a third F-5 that and McIntyre kicks out again, to the dismay of Lesnar. Heyman screams out, “Good, do it again! Do it all night long!”
McIntyre his landed a fourth claymore kick and is the new WWE Champion.
Winner: Drew McIntyre is the new WWE Champion.
Score: 2 out of 5 stars. Well…it was better than Goldberg vs. Strauman.
Performance of the Night: Bray Wyatt
Most Emotional Performer of the Night: Edge
Match of the Night: Last Man Standing Match
Night two of WrestleMania 36 is the Kill Bill: Volume 2 of professional wrestling. Virtually none of the action made any sense. Just like most movies, WrestleMania 36 did not need a sequel.