What the HELL Did I Just Read: Vampirella #38

GameStop, Inc.

What the HELL Did I Just Read came about when Lady Victoria Irwin was reading over a stack of recent comics and books and found herself scratching her head over a manbear demon in an issue of Vampirella. Lady Victoria puts herself through a book or comic book that defies explanation, so you have a chance to ask yourself “What the HELL Did I Just Read.”

 

What the Hell Did I Just Read

Vampirella #38

Vampirella 38For a while now, I’ve been picking up issues of Dynamite’s series, Vampirella. While you take your brain in your hand with this series (how the heck do her boobs stay in a unitard when she’s fighting?!), there are some storylines that make you want scratch your head. Starting in a diner, a reporter waits to conduct an interview. The reader has a pretty good idea of who he is there to meet, as one of the first panel shows the interviewer looking over Vampirella comics with interest. He admits he was a comic reader when younger, but not much of one now. With the world hanging in the balance (because isn’t it always?) our heroine has been betrayed by her mother, Lillith. Vampirella must now must face the consequences of her motherdemon’s actions. All Vampirella’s past foes are being released from their cages in a secret prison run by her mother, and she must now stand and fight.

This issue features Dracula, Beatrice, a panther lady and a giant goat man-thing. After the recent late release of the Vampirella Halloween Special, I’m still reeling from the manbear demons that were protecting a witch cult. There are also references to Star Trek, when Vampirella jokes about her own “Prime Directive.”  I greatly enjoyed one line in particular, however. “If you have a preferred Deity, it probably wouldn’t hurt to pray.” That’s how I felt when I stumbled across the sudden conclusion of the episode. With “retconning” that would make British Sci-Fi fans blush, it is referenced that this adventure might not actually be retained by Vampirella.

Huebert Khan Michael’s artwork is gorgeous. He manages to capture the menagerie of bad guys in Lillith’s prison the way that Joss Whedon was able to capture monsters in Cabin In The Woods. Brandon Jerwa does the best he can at writing the concept he is given. Part of me is delighted at his decision to write the B-movie of comic books, and I hope he continues to do so. Mat Lopes keeps the colors dark and morbid, lightening up only in the diner scenes. Also, as I rarely do, I have to give the letterer credit for having the awesome name of Marshall Dillon.

One does not read Vampirella for a logical story-line or conclusion. One reads Vampirella because it’s campy, fun, and because you can either lustily admire or mock her neckline in equal measure. Regardless, I walked away wonder “What the HELL Did I Just Read?”

 

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