WELCOME TO MY MOSTLY TRUE (this time 87-93%) RECAP OF THE 2016 EDITION OF SAN DIEGO COMIC CON!
PT 2: THE SPAWNING!
AKA:Largest pop culture convention in the world.
Source of 80% of San Diego’s tax revenue for the year.
$15 for a cheeseburger!?!?!?
Nerd Prom.
Place where you have to wait four hours to attend a panel about that comic book staple NCIS: New Orleans.
Lines to get tickets to wait in other lines to buy shit.
Preview night is wall to wall Iron Men… Women…Dogs!
Damnation Artist Alley.
The only place outside of Westeros Bar and Grill that has a sword check station.
Where Mark Rubio wanted to go but he had this thing in Cleveland he couldn’t get out of (that bastard Kasich still went and got a “Better call Saul” mini-poster… fucker).
Two hour wait at Starbucks.
Place where you used to find comic books.
The only place you can find Oliver Stone, Brian Michael Bendis, a straight-up metric ton of Slave Leias, the cast of Big Bang Theory, and a creepy guy that calls himself “The Collector” within a two mile radius in the span of three days.
In part two I promised to recap TV, casting and rando stuff and, possibly if I have room, a few comic book things.
But first let me introduce the master of ceremonies… the character that is bound to become a staple of your toy collection for years to come!
Edrio Two Tubes!
“‘Ello you hideous squishy things. I want to see a rugby game. Any of you miserable sacks of flesh know what that is? Probably not because it involves running.”
Edrio is a new character from Star Wars Rogue One: Licence to Print Money. S/he/It was revealed at the Lucasfilm stronghold/pavilion. Despite being somewhat abrasive in personality I’m sure he’s gonna go over big with the kids.
TV
Big doin’s in TV land this year! Starz absolutely knocked it outta the park last year with Ash vs Evil Dead and this year they dropped a trailer for season 2:
Jacksonville, Boomstick and Lee Majors!
But Starz is giving a one/two punch with it’s adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s brilliant novel American Gods.
“Oi! It’s that the bloke who said “Fook” a lot on that cowboy show!”
Ian McShane IS part of an amazing cast including Gillian Anderson, Crispin Glover, Emily Browning and… unfortunately, Dane Cook. But don’t let that keep you from seeing this, I hear Dane doesn’t last long in the show.
Netflix offered an embarrassment of riches including announcing a third season of Daredevil and whipping out trailers for Luke Cage, Iron Fist and a tease for The Defenders which somehow made Nirvana’s “Come As You Are” fresh and exciting again. Not to mention Ol’ Dirty Bastard representin’.
The streaming service was surprisingly mum on the much-anticipated Frankie and Grace/Luke Cage/Stranger Things/House of Cards shared universe/crossover coming in 2017. I guess they don’t want to reveal too much in one day.
Ghost Rider is coming to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D probably brought to you with limited commercial interruption by Dodge; he’s gonna be a mash-up of Johnny Blaze and Robbie Reyes, mostly Reyes, and that’s just fine.
Anybody who writes for AoS, you MUST have a crazy car race between Lola and Ghost Rider’s hellfire powered street rod! If you don’t you just aren’t doing your damn job!
Marvel, FX and Noah Hawley (the brilliant Fargo) bring David Haller aka: The X-Men character Legion to TV in 2017
It looks weird and fun and a unique take on super powered beings; Fargo has been a personal favorite so hopes are high for this one.
DC’s CW TVUOPP (yeah you know me) dropped an ass load of trailers for their new seasons. Oliver Queen starts a street vigilante school in Season 5 of Arrow.
Barry really super speed steps in it. “Flashpoint” is the story arc for season three of The Flash.
The Justice Society of America, the Legion of Doom and being the probable nexus of all the Arrow, The Flash, and Supergirl crossover frenzy that’ll happen this season makes Legends of Tomorrow the most cluttered show on the CW…
What better way to bring back Captain Cold than with the Flashpoint bugaboo. That’s the great thing about comic book stories; you can have your cake and eat it just a few issues or TV episodes later. Also because of Flashpoint, Malcolm Merlyn is gonna look a little different
“Hey Captain Cold, wanna hide some nuts?”
Warner Animation announced another Justice League show titled Justice League Action, made up of eleven minute episodes that seem tailored to viewing on your personal motherbox… er, smartphone.
Anytime Lobo is there, I’m in!
“Ee’s a pansy, that one. I could take ‘em with three arms tied behind’ me back! You should ask ‘em about is fookin Coldplay B’sides collection, cor!”
Supernatural is coming back for its twenty-seventh season. Some revealed plot points: Crowley and Cass open a cupcake shop together, a group of ghosts team up to make the “Humanbusters”, Sam invents a new way to train hunters with Pokemon Go!, Dean slips in the bathtub and breaks a hip, Rick Springfield is Satan. As far as I know only one of those statements is true.
Sherlock has a new season coming in, oh maybe six to ten years; here’s a pretty funny teaser…kinda
“You git, here is the real trailer for season four which is out next year. And you better not crack on ‘ole Benedict’s reptilian charm or I’ll ‘ave your fooking ‘ide!”
CASTING NEWS
Brie Larson with be number one on the call sheet for Marvel’s Captain Marvel (that means she’s starring in it).
Former Human Torch Michael B. Jordan and current Yoda proxy Lupita Nyong’o will be in Marvel’s Black Panther.
And Kurt Russell will play Ego: The Living Planet in Marvel’s Guardian’s of the Galaxy Vol:2.
“Oi! I had thought that Kanye West was announced as Ego the Living Planet but I misheard; Kanye HAS an Ego the size of a planet, sorry, mate.”
Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day, two very funny people who have served the geek demographic well, add another notch in their bedpost as MSTK3K’s new prisoner… hosts on the satellite of love. Joel Hodgson also addressed Crow T. Robot’s Meth/Pennzoil addiction problem by saying “He’s clean, has been for months, and he’s doing the best work of his career!”
RANDO STUFF
My friend and mega-talented artist J.K. Woodward was part of the Michael J Wolf fine art gallery “Star Trek: 50 artists, 50 years” exhibit. He did a collection of every Klingon to have a speaking role in Star Trek. It’s awesome! See for yourself…
@Batlifffan128 said on his twitter: “J.K. obviously missed Korgel from the Tribbles episode. A Klingon that was in the background in the bar scene. He’s not a TRUE fan!”
Classy Brit, amazing writer and habitual vest wearer Tony Lee announced some things at SDCC: He’s writing the screenplay for a movie called Flight 342 and a “futuristic take on Robin Hood” for the producers of 300 and other big films. There is also a film called Stoker’s Monsters:Before Dracula, but that was announced just before SDCC (thought I’d mention it anyway). It was the first time in three years Tony has been to the Gaslamp but he’s been busy cut him some slack.
Sanrio had a crazy booth where they introduced their rebranded multi-media/platform/world conquering/retail line-up Hello Sanrio. Hello Kitty, her friends and that weird egg thing were all featured surrounded by women dressed like the pictures in one of the kinkier Tumblr blogs I follow. They had a suite of apps, a Tusm Tusm like Kitty collection, a food truck serving macarons and a new small mind control device that looked like a pair of Hello Kitty ears. Prepare for your adorable masters to rule over the world by 2018.
COMICS
Image comics killed at the Eisners with seven awards. Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang’s Paper Girls received two awards (Best New Series, Best Penciler/Inker), and Jason Aaron and Jason Latour’s Southern Bastards took home awards for Best Continuing Series and Best Writer. Marvel and DC won some stuff too. Food was eaten and libations were consumed.
Back issues and discounted graphic novels could be purchased at a comic store that was open about five miles north-east of the convention center.
Well that wraps it up for this year. I hope you all enjoyed the recap and who, knows… maybe next year, if I win the lottery and have my anxiety about attending a huge potential terrorist target dealt with I’ll attend. Not likely, though.
Say goodbye, Edrio.
“Fook off you bloody wankers! Watch out for those Sanrio bastards, that’s ‘ow my planet fell to the Empire!”