‘Krampus’ is the Best Horror Comedy in Decades

GameStop, Inc.

KrampusGrowing up in St. Nicholas Orthodox Church, I know St. Nicholas Day is December 6th. I know that the Holy Saint rescued two sisters from being sold into prostitution. I knew that as a boy, he traded his prized stallion for the freedom of a slave boy. I knew that after being released from prison for being a Christian that he was at the Council of Nicea in AD 325 and helped Canonize the Holy Bible. I also know that at the council, he jumped across the table and knocked out Arius for being a heretic in claiming that Christ the Logos and God the Father were not of one essence.

However, it was not until Universal Pictures announced the making of the horror-comedy that I learned of the Germanic mythology that had the Saint cavorting with a Christmas Demon known as Krampus.

As I did my research and learned more of the Krampus demon, who would visit the bad children and do anything from leaving them lumps of coal to stuffing them in sacks, beating them with rods for having been extra troublesome, and even kidnapping the vicious little monsters that disrespected their families, the Krampus legend did seem like something that could only come out of Germany. [pullquote align=”right” cite=”Krampus is better than Beetlejuice!”][/pullquote]

In the movie version written by Todd Casey, Zach Shields and Michael Dougherty (who also directed the picture), a stuffy, emotionless WASPish family trapped in a post-modern society of consumerism must deal with their lower-class extended family for three days through Christmas. Life goes to hell when Max (Emjay Anthony) an adolescent with the penmanship of a kindergartner, who along with his Omi (Krista Stadler) still believe in Santa Claus, is tormented about writing letters to Santa by his tomboy cousins Stevie (Lolo Owen) and Jordan (Queenie Samuel) for his childish beliefs. Max tears up his letter, throwing it out the window and destroying all hope for Christmas.

Because of the hardening of his heart, Max and his family are now tormented by the Christmas Demon Krampus, his elves, and the creepiest Germanic toys known in the history of the world…I’m looking at you porcelain faced bird monster!

Now it is up to Tom (Adam Scott), Sarah (Toni Collette), Howard (David Koechner), Linda (Allison Tolman), and the rest of the family to rescue Beth (Stefania LaVie Owen) from the Krampus in order to save Christmas.

It’s no secret that I’m a wuss when it comes to horror movies and a hitter when I get scared, but this flick that only cost $15 million to make is the best horror-comedy since Beetlejuice, in fact, I will go so far as to say Krampus is better than Beetlejuice!

Krampus is dark, funny, threatening, and actually has a moral! Who would have ever guessed that a horror-comedy could have moral? It teaches you to appreciate what you have, to celebrate family, life, and the little things, all the while creeping the hell out of you! The only thing that could have made it even more uncomfortable is if it were a musical. Can you picture Adam Scott and Toni Collette singing about a Christmas Demon? Hey! Universal! I smell a broadway play.

Krampus opens nationwide on Friday, December 4, 2015 and don’t forget to celebrate St. Nicholas on December 6th as he’s still a pretty big part of this story.

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