‘Gladiator II‘ wastes an incredible cast and a legendary director on a script and visual effects best suited for a high school student film.
Last night, through the wonderful Orange County Film Society, I had the displeasure of viewing ‘Gladiator II‘. This $210 million picture could not figure out if it wanted to be a sequel to the Ridley Scott classic (penned by David Franzoni, John Logan and William Nicholson) from 2000’s, ‘Gladiator‘ or a half-hearted attempt in following the missteps of 2010’s, ‘Clash of the Titans.’
This abomination written by David Scarpa and Peter Craig has all the depth of a high school student fan fiction film. You cannot, “hose them down,” when hoses didn’t exist in A.D. 200! No one wore a wedding band on their left hand until the 19th century because people wiped their posteriors with their left hand! In doing so, you are indicating that every character defecates on their marriages! The talented, Yuval Gonen who plays Arishat has Christian tattoos on her face, common to sub-Saharan Africa, yet when Lucius (the amazing Paul Mascel) sees his beloved, it is in the pagan after life.
How the heck do you show a statue of Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, suckling on their adopted wolf mother and not mention them by name?! A basic historical reference so casually ignored. They also kept calling Lucius a, “barbarian“; a term used for Germanic people from the north, not prisoners of war captured in North Africa.
In speaking with Texas based filmmaker, Elijah Broughton, after peeled me off the walls, he rationalized, “Ridley (Scott) was trying to pump out ‘Alien: Romulus’ and ‘Gladiator II’, one had to be sacrificed.”
Somehow, Paramount Pictures managed to squander one of the most stellar casts ever assembled and flush away nearly a quarter of a billion dollars on amateurish CGI. The giant monkeys, the battle rhinoceros, and the shark-infested Colosseum (you’ll see) had me repeatedly slamming my head into the top of my chair, begging for mercy. At one point, I wondered if the pet dogs were also CG, because they didn’t look real either.
Mascel’s Lucius stands out as an exceptional example of acting brilliance, especially given the challenges presented by a script that many would struggle to elevate. His’s ability to breathe life into his character, infusing it with nuance, depth, and an emotional weight that resonates on screen, is nothing short of remarkable. Despite the script’s shortcomings—whether in dialogue, pacing, or overall development—Mescal manages to carve out a truly gripping performance, with a dog droppings script.
Denzel Washington plays Macrinus as an effeminate, more over the top version of his Oscar award winning character, Alonzo Harris from, ‘Training Day.’ Despite the incoherent script, Washington still manages to elevate the material—an impressive testament to his unparalleled skill as an actor. He somehow makes ‘Gladiator II‘ somewhat tolerable, which is a miracle given what he had to work with.
From the handful of things I have seen Pedro Pascal in, his role of Roman General, Marcus Acacius was just another payday. I image Pascal thought, “Look, I will be working with Ridley Scott on a Gladiator movie. The script is sh!t, but it’s a huge check and critics will praise it because it’s Ridley Scott.”
Joseph Quinn as the power hungry Emperor Geta and ‘Thelma‘s Fred Hechinger as Emperor Caracalla, infected with the disease of the loins (best line of the film) manage to embody their roles perfectly, given the pitiful material they were handed. The only returning cast member from the original ‘Gladiator,’ Connie Nielsen as Lucilla, is so woefully underused that it tarnishes her legacy from the first film.
If you have any respect for history, avoid ‘Gladiator II‘ like the plague—it will make your brain ooze out of your ears. However, if you’re looking for a sword and sandals action flick that is 2 plus hours, then ‘Gladiator II‘ comes to theaters on Friday, November 22, 2024.
The next screening via the Orange County Film Society, will be Disney’s ‘The Young Woman and the Sea,’ at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday, November 26, 2024, followed by a Q&A with with director, Joachim Rønning at the Lido Theater in Newport Beach, CA.
You can read my glowing review of this feature entitled: Disney’s ‘Young Woman and the Sea’ is a Triumph of Will – Review.
Summary
Recent polling has shown men think of the Roman Empire several times a month. After ‘Gladiator II‘, you will forget the glory of Rome ever existed.
