E3 2016 Losers

GameStop, Inc.

As there are winners at E3, there are also E3 2016 Losers. This isn’t to go as far as to say that anything on this list is a failure or has no redemption, but in general this lists comprises of short-sightedness. Without further adieu, here’s my officially biased and moderately thought out list of

E3 2016 Losers

E3 2016 Losers

There’s an obvious loser in this fight, but Superman’s costume definitely loses the fashion contest.

E3 2016 Losers5) People who were too eager to try Naughty America’s VR demo

I am not against VR pornography. I personally would like to check it out. However, I will not wait hours in line to do so publically to pop an erection in front of hundreds of other people. Where is the thought process in that? Or will I go and try the demo and fight going six to midnight the whole time, hence not really allowing myself to enjoy the demo? It is pure and utter jackassery. I get it though, a majority of these people are buyers and away on business from their families; it is better than them breaking any vows. Also probably why  the booth was located so near the restroom.

4) Mobile GamingE3 2016 Losers

In general, I feel mobile gaming is ruining the gaming industry. Not that it shouldn’t exist, but because it causes major companies to lessen their PC and console efforts in favor for the shallow games that generate quick money. There was a clear absence of mobile gaming, minus the Samsun Oculus and HTC Vive, but those are more VR experiences. The lack of a truly worthwhile mobile game displaying anything only supports the fact mobile gaming as a cash grab rather than being an art form or entertainment medium. I’m sure VR gambling from your phone is the push people need to want VR… (sarcasm). Mobile Gaming, as of now, is more than just one of the E3 2016 Losers, but in general a loser for gamers.

E3 2016 Losers3) Nintendo

Nintendo. despite having Pokemon Go releasing soon, 6 other Wii U games, and a secret console, went 100% into their next Zelda game. Before I explain why I added them to my loser’s list, let me first say that Nintendo’s booth was BEAUTIFUL. It was like being in the world of the game. They did not skimp on any of the details, and the game itself looks incredible. The line to enter the Nintendo booth was ridiculous and rightfully so. The reason I say Nintendo is a loser is because they only banked on one game. One game doesn’t bring you to the top, even if it is Zelda. You have your highly anticipated mobile game, highly anticipated 3DS games, and others, yet you only focus on one game. Nintendo feels like a sinking ship and Zelda is like that string quartet determined to play beautiful music until the bitter end.

E3 2016 Losers2) The Attendees

This might sound hypocritical coming from a guy, but there were far too many of us at E3. Nothing against anyone there, except for Dopey McMouthBreather who ruined the VR demo right before me, but there was a serious lack of women at E3. To me, this means that gaming still has a very one sided bias. I know gamergate did not help things, and many gamers do match the stereotype of couch potatoes who only have a voice behind a screen and headset, but it seems that the companies aren’t doing much to attract female gamers. I don’t say this to make fun of a sausage fest, but to bring notice that gamer equality is still severely lacking.

E3 2016 Losers1) Full Dome

This is like the old Star Dome system that elementary kids get to go to to see a projection of the constellations. 3D Dome is a way to view VR without having to wear a headset. It displays what was captured as a VR setting and puts the viewer inside of it. Technologically speaking, this would make everything easier to integrate. Practicality wise, it’s absolutely troublesome. No one has the room for one of these things, and what is the point of renting one? Unless you can make a quick pop-up version that is as convenient as a folding chair, these monstrous domes don’t really have a place, even in the largest of homes. I imagine it would be cool to have a giant arena made of one, or a bunch of the mini ones for team play, but none of the ways of use seem practical.

*Honorable Mention: The E3 2016 losers who are at the hub of the newest and greatest in gaming technology and choose to play OverwatchStreet Fighter V, or any other game that is already out.

This does not include the MLG tryouts, this is about all the other random booths like T-Mobile who have a game that is already out. What is wrong with you losers? These are the only actual E3 2016 Losers I can think of. The badges cost thousands of dollars and you’re going to play a $60 game that is already out? Go play in traffic ding-a-lings. I couldn’t find a better example of pointlessness or waste of time and money. At least if they burned money they would get to see fire, but waiting in line to play a game that is already out at one of the most exclusive and expensive events that host playable demos of games not available yet, is hands down one of the stupidest things ever.


There you have it, my pick for E3 2016 Losers.  Overall E3 seemed smaller and more crowded, the convention seems to be fading a bit and the audience seems to suffer because of it. There were a lot less games to try out this year, and I personally attribute it to the increase in focus on mobile gaming. Less games to try out means more lines to stand in. This is only my second E3, but it took a noticeable drop in overall enjoyment from last year. More empty spaces, less games, longer lines, forced attendees to have to commit to what they wanted to see. The big vendors delivered as they have before, but other than that it was underwhelming. I hope E3 will be better next year.

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