Cultural Junkdrawer: The AVN special: 5 Questions for Porn Stars (and Porn adjacent)

GameStop, Inc.

Who’s got the biggest… picture?

CULTURAL JUNKDRAWER

 

5 Questions for Pornstars

 

So, once again, it’s over. The AVN Awards! Here is the time-line for the week: 

 Monday and Tuesday – A bunch of people that have sex for a living getting together at a hotel in Vegas and… drink and play slot machines. Plans have been made to shoot what is collectively called “Content” with several parties. Possibly even some content is actually shot.

 Wednesday – Even more people arrive, even more booze is imbibed nd even more “content” is planned to shoot.

 Thursday – The AVN show is in full swing. Rows upon rows of cam girls use glitter lipgloss pulled from their glitter unicorn mini back-packs. Fans line up around booths to get a pic with their favorite performer. The ANE show is going on also where I find a wealth of jokes to be derived from pleasure products designed for all genders (see my live tweets) including this product that redefines “Hammering”

Hey babe, I want to hammer… you… um, didn’t come across as well as I hoped.

 Some content is shot while the promise of shooting content is made. Much is drank, parties are attended, some work is done.

 Friday – The big day of the show because this is when everybody is in full on promotion mode. Friends, contemporaries and adversaries all bump into one another is the corridors of the Hard Rock. Content is shot, but even more plans to shoot content are cancelled. More parties are attended, more booze is drank.

 Saturday – The Awards are tonight which means two definitative things: 1 – All plans to shoot content are cancelled. 2 – Mr Lucky’s post show has more than a 90 minute wait.

 Sunday – Anybody foolish or naive enough to have scheduled Content will cancel. Half the staff of AVN magazine take the 7am flight home, everyone else sleeps in till noon at least.

 The problem I faced this year was that I had no idea what to do differently. Two years ago I had done a Sprawling multi-column crossover  with Adult Continuity, followed by Cultural Junkdrawer and ending with my Comics on the Can column  covering the show and more than a few jokes about concrete.

 Last year I did a two part photo essay which was a lot easier but just as funny: Part 1 and Part 2 are here and they are kinda safe for work unless you happen to work for a church, Mike Pence or anybody else with 0% sense of humor.

 So what could I do this year that was different, had the same or greater amount of laughs and could be done while drunk and cancelling content shoots? That’s when I came up with 5 QUESTIONS TO ASK PORNSTARS! I comprised a list of eight questions of which I would ask five depending on what how much confusion I wanted to create. They also, mostly, fall into the realm of what my loyal readers, both of them, would be interested to know about their favorite adult performers. Here are the questions I wrote up:

1 – What superhero (or Villain) or video game character would you like to have sex with?

2 – What’s cuter Sloth or Narwhal?

3 – What is your opinion of the Northern Ukranian fishing rights controversy?

4 – Wilma or Betty?

5 – What was your favorite toy as a kid?

6 – Are geeky men sexy?

7 – Who’s the black private dick that’s a sex machine to all the girls?

8 – If you could have any superpower what would it be?

I did add a bonus question too:

What’s up with this guy?

 I got some answers that I didn’t expect and some that made me laugh outright. Here we go:

 

Sara Star
@sarastarxxx
Ravenclaw

 A friend of mine this pink haired BBW performer hails from the Big Easy and is always ready with a warm smile and big hugs. Her cat, Freddie, is spoiled as hell too.

1 – Superhero she’d bang – 

I talk to fishies!

Aquaman (DC comics version) “He needs the love! It never seems like he gets any.”

2 – Sloth or Narwhal –

It’s a tooth! Stop staring you perv!

 

5 – Toy –

It was so much fun. I liked doing butterflies!

6 – Geeky guys – Oh yes because they are passionate and focused about what they like that carries over tp… ya ‘know! 

7 – Who’s the black private dick… Huh?

 

What’s up with this guy?

– OMG! I have a friend who says he’s her spirit animal! That’s so crazy!

 

Julie Rocket
Juliercketxxx.com
Ravenclaw

Host of her own podcast and radio show the lovely Julie Rocket puts the “Sin” in Sin City! She was nommed for AVN awards this year. XXX Radio host, model, adult entertainer, pansexual, fetish, femdom, Julie covers all the bases with class and sass!

1 – Super hero she’d bed – An MCU gangbang including the villains!

WOW! That’s ambitious!

2 – Sloth or Narwhal? Narwhal!

4 – Wilma or Betty – Definitely Betty, she felt like she’d get wild!

Ready to Rubble!

5 – Fav Toy – My little Pony Twilight Sparkle.

Wait, more than guys are into My Little Pony?

6 – Geeky guys – YES! If they make me laugh! It really works for me.

 

First, Highlander, you must grease up your supple Scottish body!

 – Bondage Highlander cowboy mash-up!

 

Ryan Driller @ryandriller Gryffindor

 Probably best known as Superman in Axel Braun’s DC PORNOVERSE Ryan has had a storied and fascinating career in adult entertainment. With a quick smile and a chill demeanor Ryan feels more all american boy than you cliched image of a porn dude.

1 – Superhero he’d make love to – Wonder Woman… I mean.. C’mon!

2 – Sloth or Narwhal – Narwhal!

4 – Wilma or Betty – Betty, no contest!

5 – Favorite Toy – Transformer, a red jet but it wasn’t Starscream (My note: after some research I believe Ryan was talking about Thrust, which seems on brand for a male pornstar).

Yes, Thrust!

7 – Who’s the black private dick… – Shaft, can you dig it!

He’s a Baaaaad mutha…

 

Driller? I’ve done some Drilling in my time, boyo!

That’s so planet of the Apes!

 

April O’Neill, Woodrocket.com, @undeux, Slytherin

Writer, Director and performer for Woodrocket.com, April has never been secretive about her love of geekery! Especially those heroes in a half shell. I just recently reviewed her in the XXX Parody of Star Trek TNG

1 Superhero/videogame character she’d bang – The Eleventh Doctor and Elizabeth from Bioshock (possibly together, I forgot to ask)

You old dog, you!

Corsets are in in alt universe 1278B and 373/f this season.

2 – Narwhals are adorable.

4 – Betty

5 – Favorite Toy –  The TMNT Shell bus! 

6 Are geeky guys sexy?- Geeky guys are my type!

Mustache and chest hair rides one Narwhal tooth!

Hey waitaminute!

He’s a babe but I’m not into barbarians.

 

Karla Lane Karlalanexxx.com Doesn’t know… don’t want to.

 Karla Lane was just inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame this year. Funny, gregarious and with a million dollar smile Karla easily draws attention. Her on screen performances and off screen networking have helped BBW performers get closer than ever to a mainstream spotlight.

1 -Superhero she’d boink – Superman

YES!

(The boyfriend Mo behind her is still talking to somebody else) I just said that to see if he’d react… he’d want me to say Batman.

Psyche, boyscout!

2 – Sloth’s they’re too cute!

Do you want a lover with a slooooooow hand? I mean really slow!

4 – Betty. She was a dirty girl you could tell.

Right back at’cha, babe!

5 – Lite Brite (my note: I am stunned at the amount of love Lite Brite has gotten)

6 – I love geeky boys! (I can verify this because her boyfriend, Mo is a huge Batman fan and collects lego sets)

My name is Bondage… Zardoz Bondage!

Awww; he’s lost on the beach.

 

Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin-Berg
Americansexpodcast
S: Slytherinin, KMB: Gryffindor

 Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin Berg are not porn stars but they are Sex educators covering many media nodes such as American Sex Podcast, Sex with Sunny Megatron and Sunnymegatron.com. Sex positive and informative this couple are always fun to hang out with!

 

1 – Ken: Aquaman

I talk to fishies!

, Sunny: Wonder Woman

2 – Both: Sloth

4 – Both: Betty, both feel Betty and Barney are swingers. Not sure about Fred and Wilma.

5 – Sunny: my Wonder Woman doll, Ken: any and all Star Wars action figures!

When did you losers start calling it Gonk Droid?

7 – Any superpowers – Sunny: Precognition, Ken: Control chaos (like Domino the X-force member)

Don’t call me a man baby or I’ll shoot you in the eye!

– Sean Connery: hard fem lingerie fetish!

 

Waffles Americansexpodcast.com Hufflepuff The only one who knows what the fuck is going on!

 Waffles is the helper dog for Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin-Berg. Not a porn star but will lick her own junk in public!

1 – Superhero she’d do doggie style with – Woof, grrrr.

2 – Sloth or Narwhal – She freezes and sniffs the air. Then goes back to eating the rug.

3 – Ukrainian fishing rights – I feel the Northern Ukrainians deserve to fish for survival but I don’t understand why they don’t hunt all those damn evil squirrels hopping about in trees… taunting me and plotting the downfall of dog kind!

4 – Wilma or Betty – She sniffs my hand then rubs her head against it. I pet her.

6 – Geeky men – Oops! Time to go piddles!

Woof fucking woof!

 – A faint growl, a sniff of the picture then back to licking her junk.

 

Manuel Ferrara
deeper.com
Slytherin (cause of his dick, according to him)

 To say Manuel Ferrara, a man who is on most every female performer’s “To do” list, winner of multiple awards and countless more nomination, successful director, actor and performer and owner of a successful twitch stream is living his best life might be an understatement. Regardless of being one of porn’s top guns Manuel is a funny, warm, approachable guy. I’m happy to call him a friend.

1 Superpowered/video game or Anime he would have sexy time with – Boa Hancock from One Piece (his wife Kaden Kross is nearby) I mean my lovely wife!

Yeah, I get it.

2 – Sloths

4 – Oh Betty, she was nasty in the good way.

Thanks sexy!

5 – Favorite toy – My dick! It was my first joystick!

I can’t show what he’s really talking about.

7- Teleportation

Cause Manuel’s dick is like… oh never mind!

 

I had more women than Manuel!

 – A totally Manly dude!

 

Lo Yonder
thecoybox.com
Slytherin

Lola Yonder is what she describes as “Porn Adjacent” several years in phone sex, and selling adult toys. I met this vivacious beauty at a mixer for Karla Lane’s award reception. Since she emailed me the answers I’ll put them here in their entirety since it’s a good way to communicate her energy…

BIO:👩‍🏫 I’m Lola, a Plus Size, Body Positive Beauty Blogger and Sex Stylist.💋 My 3 Passions are Makeup/Fashion, and Masturbation (for) Better Mental Health.  I’ll be your #1 Intimacy Influencer, and go-to source for Passionate discourse on Toys🥒… and am currently launching a Lifestyle blog focused on Adult Toy Reviews!💦 Sex should be fun, NOT stigmatized, so stop screwing around and ‘let’s talk about the 🍆 in the room’™! 🤗 (SEX!)

TAGS: Lola Yonder, @thecoybox on Instagram AND Twitter, thecoybox.com (toy blog content cumming SOON)

  ⚡Q1: What superhero or video game character would you like to fuck? – Spiderman– we would literally screw from the ceiling,♫ to the windoooooows… to the walls. ♫

Video game character…. oooof. Fran, that tan bunny babe from FFXII. She is THE TRUE FINAL FANTASY. #thenerdswillknow

⚡⚡Q2: Sloth or Narwhal? 😊Sloooooth! There’s something so vulnerable, irresistibly cute, and cuddly about them!

⚡ ⚡⚡Q3: What is your opinion on the Northern Ukranian fishing rights controversy? 😖 I try to stay out of politics!

⚡⚡⚡⚡Q4: Wilma or Betty? 🤔This is mostly before my time, but I’d have to say Betty.😊

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡Q5: Favorite toy as a kid – 😅I made/ customized a lot of my own toys as a kid. …🙄 and, well, here we are. 😂😂#sextoyblogger

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡Q6: Are geeky men sexy? – 😘Geeky men (and women and Enby’s) are honestly my FAVORITE.👩‍🏫 I’m a shameless sapiophile.❤❤ #talknerdytome #thenerdistheword #teachmesenpai

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡Q7: Who’s the black private dick who’s a sex machine to all the girls? – 😧Ooof! I’m at a loss on this one.🤔 I’ve seen the word ‘MANDINGO’ on a lot of porn covers though. #ignoranceisbliss #noshadeintended

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡Q8: If you could have any superpower what would it be? 🙃the Power to safely Teleport… which would save SO much $$’s on plane tickets, so I could attend more amazing events like AVN! ❤❤❤

🍭Alternatively, The Power to Eat and NOT gain any more weight. 💋 But if you are what you eat, then this girl is a SNACC.

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡Q9: Bonus question

They send one of your’s to the hospital You send one of theirs to the big floating head thing with lasers for eyes!

😂Oooh. Clearly Sean Connery strapped up to FLAUNT at local PRIDE event.🌈🌈 #queerpower !

 

Veronica Vella
@veronicavellaxx
Gryffindor

I met Veronica at the AVN Stars Lounge. She’s relatively new to the industry but has the right attitude. Plus she has the rarity of being a porn performer from Canada! Who thought our neighbors to the north had such beauties up there? #canadianpornindustry

1 – I’d fuck Iron Man! He has all those gadgets and Tony is such a smooth guy.

Alex Ross SDCC 2015 Iron Man Lithograph 5

Alex Ross SDCC 2015 Iron Man Lithograph 5

2 – Narwhal’s as cute as hell!

ya ya ya’know it!

5 – My favorite toy were my legos!

Yeah another hottie that’d bang me!
Batman: move aside fishboy, my turn!

6 – Geeky boys have the best dick (my note: well, yeah!)

8 – Invisibility would be my superpower!

Here’s lookin at ya.. wait…

What do you mean there was a different Avengers?

 – Oh man that’s old school!

Miss Freudian Slit paranormalperversions.com like she could be anything other than Slytherin!

Miss Slit is a dom performer who specializes in pegging, bondage, domination, whipping, ball crushing and just about anything else you can find on fetlife.com She’s also a champion knitter and has those big eye velvet paintings up in her apartment (well, I thin she does anyway)

1 Superhero she’d fuck – Poison Ivy from Batman animated series

Poison Ivy Cycle of Life and Death Cover

2 – Sloth of Narwhal – Narwhal baby!

4 – Wilma or Betty – Betty, she’s a wild girl you can tell.

5 favorite toy – Barbies; I used to mash them together like they were having sex!

Like you weren’t thinking the same thing!

7 – Superpower – Teleportation or fly!

Freudian Slit do you work for Blofeldt?

He’s Here To FUCK!

Finally…

 

Chris Morris
@morrisatLarge, chrismorrisjournalist.com
Hufflepuff

Chris Morris is NOT a porn star! But he does cover the CES, SXSW and AVN shows every year! He’s a freelance journalist who works primarily for CNBC and has been known to wear an inflatable T-Rex outfit! So he’s a funny, kinky bastard!

1 Superhero I’d wine, dine, then 69 – Electro Woman and Dyna Girl (going for that Mother/daughter threeway a lot of guys secretly want)

3 – Ukranian fishing rights – Something smells funny about it!

The sexiest picture in this column!

4 – Betty, it’s always been Betty!

5 – Lincoln logs

Yeah, I was a dork as a kid too!

6 – Hell yes we are especially us gingers!

7 – I’m talkin ‘bout Shaft! He’s a baaaad mutha…

Shut yo mouth!

I named the dog Gimp!

– I don’t judge.

 

Well that does it for yet another year of AVN Awards. If you want to know who won awards and stuff check my live tweets or just go to AVN.com for a complete list of the winners. But when you think about it if you got a few content shoots done before the hangover set in aren’t you really a winner?

Anytime Costumes

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