Cultural Junkdrawer Presents: The (kinda) NSFW 2019 AVN Awards photo recap PT 2

VANAPHASE™ the Vanadium powerhouse!

Welcome back to the second half of this legendary and naughty photo recap of The 2019 AVN Awards. The fun took place in Las Vegas starting with the ANE (Adult novelty expo) and the AVN show taking up all the space in the Hard Rock Convention Halls and meeting rooms. Thousands of people of all orientations, disciplines and skill levels came to ogle, canoodle and hustle. Many pens with different logos were given away, same with hats, blinking bunny ears and in the case of Mr. Skin, hot sauce. Then on Saturday evening an entire industry of beautiful, sexy women, handsome, studly men and a lot of gawkers watching from the other side of the velvet rope got to celebrate their craft, congratulate themselves on a job well done and watch EW anointed Entertainer of the year, Cardi B, sing a few songs on either side of badly written presenter dialogue. All while getting seriously fucked up on booze and then getting fuc… well, you know.

If a picture is worth a thousand words I’ve got thirty three thousand words worth of pictures here… some of them might offend so don’t level your judgmental (or just mental) gaze at work or with the kiddies nearby.

If you prefer words there is always my sprawling multi-column crossover recap of the 2018 AVN Awards where I make jokes about the nearby “world of concrete” convention and chronicle the exciting inaugural experience of my friend Blam…

PT 1 – Adult Continuity

PT 2 – Cultural Junkdrawer

PT 3 – Comics on the can

And for goodness sake have a sense of humor about the whole thing. That is the intention; I don’t make dick jokes lightly.

 

Look at the obvious phallic imagery! No wonder the porn show is held at the Hard Rock!

 

Yeah, Deadpool was there. He was giving his preemptive rebuttal to my REVIEW OF DEADPOOL XXX THIS FEBURARY ON ADULT CONTINUINITY!                     Domino was shooting an anal scene with Manuel while he cruised the floor.

 

The line for the White Party photo op. Surprise fact: At least ONE of these people have had sex in front of a camera!

 

The famous White Party photo op just outside. I still don’t get why it’s called The White Party.

 

The radiant adult superstar Vicki Chase. Wearing a dress straight outta Janelle Monae’s “Pink” Video.

 

Inside The White Party before the opening prayer. Chocolate chip cookies and juice boxes were served.

 

MORTAL KOMBAT 11 showed up at the white party hyping some new DLC characters.

 

The Wonderland Party or a recreation of a set from Joel Schumacher’s Batman and Robin.

 

The Wonderland party or the line for Dunkin Doughnuts each morning.

 

If it wasn’t for the fact there were two hot girls making out in front of me this guy, who looked like Bruce Banner in Thor: Ragnarok, would’ve been the most entertaining thing at the party.

 

The Hard Rock gave a demonstration of the late check out penalty.

 

OSHA has put out a bulletin clearly stating this isn’t an approved use for this power tool.

 

“Yeah, girl, you lookin FIIIIINE!”

 

Big cocks weren’t only inside the convention.

 

One of the demos on the floor. Those that read my columns know that this is one step closer to my dream of having sex with a robot. Did I try it? See next pic…

 

OF COURSE I TRIED IT! NO, I did not use my real dick they had a dildo for the demo (the name of Perry Farrell’s new rock band BTW). The controls were verbal commands. The demo guy said into the mic “Suck my dick” and the doll responded “Yes, master, I live to serve you!” and began rhythmically… and dutifully  bobbing her head back and forth.
I tried a verbal command “Make better life choices.” She just bobbed faster.

 

My fiancé hosting the O awards. Where outstanding members in the adult toy industry are recognized…
Get it… outstanding members…
Hello, is this thing on?

 

One of the highlights that didn’t involve boobs was a Dole Pineapple Whip with Pineapple Cîroc at the Golden Tiki off campus. I do hardily suggest!

 

Cosplay as the rarely seen Megaman suit Camgirlbot! She has twin shooting lasers from her…
oh you get it!

 

One for the ladies: Jack Cannon. Hey Derrick Pierce was busy, alright!

 

The red carpet bisected almost the entire casino with a few designated cross points. You were SOL if you wanted to play the Game of Thrones slots and were on the wrong side.

 

Who’s this mope? The glasses are My Free Cams swag with the lenses knocked out. THEY MAKE ME LOOK SMARTER! SHUTUP!

 

The stunning Jessica Drake in a dress made by her husband Director Brad Armstrong. In other news the happy couple will need some new bed sheets and curtians when they get back to LA.

 

The back of the red carpet que. A chilly night with a long walk in high heels for most. Showbiz ain’t all sunglasses and blowjobs… just mostly.

 

My friend Blam: “Ya’know I’ve donated my time and skills to various charities, raised money for food banks and the homeless shelter my church runs. This guy is just yelling at people.”
Think about that for a minute holy rollers.

 

Some of the gang: Jessica Lust, Eric, Tim von Swine, some tosser with fake glasses and Bunny Del LaCruz.

 

Cardi B surprised everyone by singing Ave Maria! In Latin no less.
Jus kiddin it’s Bodak Yellow.

 

The dance of the starlets resulted in musical guest Cardi B being trampled to death beneath hundreds of pairs of  hooker shoes.

 

The cream of the crop: Angela White showing off one of her metric fuck ton of awards this year.

 

Seth Gamble won for his heartfelt, stunning, richly detailed portrayal of Deadpool in Deadpool XXX – a porn parody. Seriously it was mad funny! Look for my review of it this February on my Adult continuity column! 

 

Best niche performer winner Karla Lane and her million dollar smile.

 

Axel Braun carrying out a few of the awards he won for “The Possession of Mrs. Hyde” and Deadpool XXX. The rest were put on a pallet and transported out of the hotel by forklift.
I don’t know if I mentioned it but Look for my review of Deadpool XXX feb 2019 on Adult Continuity!

 

Drained of all fluids and whatnot this is part of the show floor Sunday morning. All the cam girls had to make it to early Sunday mass.

That Wraps it up for another year of Sexy fun, the endurance run and gallons of hand sanitizer! Who knows what I’ll do next year, maybe a live feed!

Also, I don’t know if I mentioned that I’ll be reviewing the award winning Deadpool XXX – An Axel Braun Parody for my Adult Continuity column this February… but I am!

BTW THIS isn’t the one I’m talking about!

See you soon!

YogaOutlet.com

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