Comics on the Can – ‘Timestorm 2009-2099’ #2

GameStop, Inc.

timestorm

Long ago, well, four years ago (long for some), I received a box of random comic books as a birthday present. This box sat idle for an eternity… well, about two and a half years. An eternity for some; like those of us waiting for new Venture Brothers. Till, BEHOLD, I discovered the box and brought them into the bathroom to read while making poopie. FanboyNation asked me to record my musings for their fine website. I did just that with the rule that I take the next book, totally random, off the top with no plan till after I’ve read it (often not even then). In this installment of Comics on the Can I tackle a Marvel book: Timestorm 2009-2099 #2 (which sounds like a DLC for a Legacy of Kain reboot or a black metal/dubstep Iron Maiden tribute album)

But WHAT IF…

What if Timestorm 2009-2099 (from now on simply referred to as “Timestorm”) WASN’T next on the pile? What if my previous entry The Tiger Woman came after Timestorm or (next installment) Incognito #2 came before? How would that change things? What if there is a universe where such a thing happened? What if there is a universe where turtles are the apex predator? What if there is a universe where Christopher Walken did play Han Solo? What if there is a universe where we all have two butts?

Mind boggling isn’t it?

Or maybe not; alternate timelines and time travel itself are so old hat in comics that the movie adaptations have finally grokked on to the concepts without the need to seriously over explain it. One of the many things I liked about X-Men: Days of Future Past was that the movie trusted the audience to understand the concepts. That and the “We found a way to correct the embarrassment that is X-Men: Last Stand and still eat that cake too!” (For those who didn’t there is the explodo and robot punching, which is always cool). Later this year the same thing will probably be considered for the Fantastic Four franchise. So old hat, in fact, that comics can now do “Alternate – alternate timeline stories” with little or no confusion.

Well, maybe a little confusion; an alternate timeline of an alternate time line, WHAT IF squared, might require some knowledge of the original… um, alternate… time line. Which is what Timestorm seems to be. Maybe I’m overthinking it, though. I don’t think reading Timestorm requires any previous knowledge of the 2099 titles from the 90s. In fact there is a decent amount of effort put into establishing the fact that this 2099 isn’t that 2099 (or officially known as Earth-928). Or that this 2099 might not even BE 2099. A casual reader might get a bit scrambled but a veteran comic book reader takes it all in stride. There are a lot of familiar totems to keep us secure; Spider Man, Mister Fantastic as a hologram, Ghost Rider. We are in familiar territory even when things are different; Jake Gallows might be the 2099 Punisher but he rocks the iconic skull motif readily available in T-shirt form in Walmarts across the nation (available in pink for the ladies, too).

Timestorm might lean a little too much on that familiarity, though. There is an information density here that is tough to absorb even for someone of my experience. Part of that is the fact that I’m reading issue #2 in a vacuum but Timestorm seems exposition heavy. Halfway through this limited series and it still feels like not everything is set-up.

Granted Reed and company come up with some clever ways to flesh out background information. For example – having a holographic Charles Xavier teach students about genetic sequencing and how it was used to suppress the mutant gene because “These genetically inferior beasts were a danger to both the human race and themselves” is perfect new-wave cyberpunk irony. The kids are getting fed propaganda mixed with their lesson using the visage of the vanquished enemy. Pretty brilliant even if it banks on you recognizing Chuck (not really a long shot, though). Of course mutants are still around; Ghost Rider thinks Wolverine is one of his kids and a reggae festival refugee, Shakiti Hadad (aka Cerebra 2099) is locked in a cell with a straightjacketed Peter Parker. There are apparently a lot of Hulks too and they’re all dicks.

The plot further complicates things by having the 2099 Punisher accidentally create “Time storms” which mess up the 2099 world like a highlander quickening would. Throw in an A.I. with its own agenda, a plot to make Gallows the Punisher by framing the heroes of the past, and super powered pit fighting (Starring an Atlantean mutant, no less) and you got a story that is spinning about three plates too many. No wonder the story feels lost in itself.
I guess the argument can be made that people attracted to this limited series aren’t going to be novices, which makes sense, but another argument could be made that the insular nature of something like Timestorm is the reason comics are losing ground while their movie counterparts are ubiquitous.

Ultimately there is a lot to process in Timestorm, and Reed and co. do a pretty good job of keeping it only moderately confusing. I’m not sure of the reason for this limited series’ existence; maybe there was an idea to “reboot” the 2099 line of titles. That is a possible explanation as to why there seems to be so much set-up. Making Timestorm more of an opening salvo as opposed to a self-contained story. Mercenary, maybe, but what if it worked? Is there a timeline where Marvel 2099 is the biggest series out there? Did Kevin Feige just announce Black Panther 2099 for phase three of the MCU? Is it in the same alternate universe where we all have two butts?

What if…

RANDOM THOUGHTS THAT OCCURRED TO ME WHILE WRITING THIS BUT COULDN’T FIT TO THE MAIN COLUMN ORGANICALLY…
Isn’t it about time that some company reboot Legacy of Kain for next generation consoles? Time traveling vampires and stuff… c’mon!

I am SO IN for a black metal/dubstep Iron Maiden tribute album!

Is the world of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the world where turtles are the apex predator?

Through a little research and some science fiction like quantum computing I found an alternate universe where I reviewed Incognito before Timestorm.

Or this one, from an alternate alternate timeline HERE.

I have it on good authority that the Tupac hologram teaches in the same school as the Charles Xavier one. Strangely his subject is wood shop.

I made up the term “new-wave cyberpunk”. Make all royalty checks out to me.

ALL the hulks in the Washington D.C. wasteland are wearing ripped purple pants. That is either taking the familiar icon thing too far or a fantastic joke.

A look back at Marvel movies in the late aughts: 2007 had Ghost Rider and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. 2008 gave us Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. Talk about an uptick in quality!

NEXT – No surprise, Incognito #2

LATER – Wherever the wind takes me (hopefully downwind).

Anytime Costumes

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