‘Fifty Shades Freed’ is a Funny, Flaccid Finale

VANAPHASE™ the Vanadium powerhouse!

Fifty Shades Freed

Have our societal standards fallen so low that we’ll allow just any form of smut on the screen? The final film in the series of films based on the books by E.L. James, Fifty Shades Freed, indulges in the worst kind of pornographic fantasy to mar the screen in recent memory. I’m not taking about the film’s sexual content, oh no, I’m talking about the grotesque form of capitalism porn that runs through the film’s tone deaf escapism. While James Foley’s second film in the Fifty Shades series features plenty of sexual situations and nudity, it abandons the interest in BDSM that drove interest in the series in the first place in favor of the kind of sexual situations that might deemed kinky by a Republican from Utah.

Fifty Shades Freed opens up with Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) exchanging wedding vows before heading off on their honeymoon, a journey in a private jet that takes the characters to Paris and French Rivera before the credits are done. It presents Fifty Shades Freed, as well as its predecessors, as movies rooted in class fantasy, as if some hunky heir can swoop into your life and rescue from a life of mediocrity and the only price you have to pay is a little bit of kinky sex.

In the previous film, Christian purchased the publishing firm that Anastasia worked at and fired her former boss Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson) after an attempt sexual assault. Hyde is now consumed with vengeance and is out to terrorize Christian and Anastasia in myriad of ways, including breaking and entering, arson, and kidnapping of a minor, unmemorable character. Further complicating the relationship of these newlyweds is the fact that Anastasia finds out she’s pregnant. Apparently, this loving couple didn’t discuss the prospect of children prior to exchanging wedding vows and the news isn’t warmly greeted by Christian, who accuses his bride of choosing their unborn child over him. It’s another example of Fifty Shades Freed taking place in a world that doesn’t resemble reality and characters who behave like some kind of alien creatures.

It’s that almost alien sensibility that makes Fifty Shade Freed somewhat watchable even though it’s a movie of escalating absurdity and flaccid eroticism. Director James Foley and screenwriter Niall Leonard (the husband of the books’ author and the movie’s producer E.L. James) strike a tone that is almost to the level of Airplane! or The Naked Gun. The actors, bless their contractually obligated hearts, play these bizarre moments in complete earnestness, never cracking the serious façade that the movie is so desperate to maintain.

Compounding the film’s absurdism is the way with which it relies on coincidence for so much of its plot functions. It just so happens that Christian and the nefarious Jack Hyde were each in the same orphanage around Detroit, and that ludicrous backstory has the successful Harvard educated Hyde seeking revenge on Christian for the life of privilege that he believes should’ve been his. Giving any of this stuff just a second of thought results in bewildered laughter. The dramatic (if we’re being generous) conclusion of Fifty Shades Freed involves a kidnapping perpetrated by Hyde on such a minor supporting character that it’s difficult to remember who this character is before their abduction has been resolved.

The first film in the series directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson, Fifty Shades of Grey, was film of uneven tone, a behind the scenes struggle between Taylor-Johnson and E.L. James that ended with Taylor-Johnson removed even though the first film was a runaway success. The sequels were shot back-to-back with Glengarry Glen Ross director James Foley stepping into direct and James’ husband adapting her books. These two sequels massively shift the perspective of the film’s sexual gaze, transforming a series intended for women to be dominated by the male gaze – Foley’s lens pays much more attention to Dakota Johnson’s naked body than the chiseled muscles of her male costar. Combined with the film’s borderline parodic tone, it makes you wonder who these last two Fifty Shades movies are for. Fifty Shades of Grey wasn’t a good movie, but it obviously spoke to its audience in a way that these two sequels are just utterly incapable of.

Fifty Shades Freed is as sexy as a pie fight, and just as funny. Its power as a fantasy isn’t rooted in its sexual situations but in its form as class escapism. Whips and chains aren’t the taboo that has appeal. It’s the idea of a hunk, who being adopted is freed from the familial guilt of any ethical lapses in his inherited wealth, with an ample bank account that can purchase your employer and free from your awful boss; a man who can swoop in and take you from a small apartment into a luxury penthouse full of all the amenities, and sex on yachts in international waters along with day trips to Aspen where he can sit behind the piano and serenade you with Wings songs. Fifty Shades Freed is simply a bumbling work of class fantasy masquerading as would-be erotica. Over the course of three films, the Fifty Shades series devolved from a BDSM romance with a conflicted personality to a bland wealth fantasy with plenty of T&A and unintentional humor.

Fifty Shades Freed
  • Overall Score
2

Summary

The flaccid finale of the Fifty Shades series, Fifty Shades Freed is a class fantasy masquerading as erotica and more often than not veers into unintentional comedy.

YogaOutlet.com

Leave a Reply

Animation/Anime Interviews Animation/Anime News Animation/Anime Reviews Film/TV Interviews Film/TV News Film/TV Review
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald Review
‘Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald’ Loses the Magic

Even though the Harry Potter saga ended seven years ago, there...

Ralph Breaks the Internet Review
A Robust Sense of Humor Makes ‘Ralph Breaks the Internet’ a Superior Sequel

2012’s Wreck-It Ralph was a brazen nostalgia play. Granted, it was...

Aaron Wolf Talks about His Movie ‘Restoring Tomorrow’

Filmmaker, Aaron Wolf spoke with us about his Oscar nominated documentary,...

Event News Event Reviews
Alt 98.7 Presents Big Adventure: Music, Comedy & Comic Con Festival, Nov 3-4 in Orange County

In less than a month, Alt 98.7 Presents Big Adventure makes its debut,...

The 9th Annual Brew HA HA Craft Beer Photo Gallery

Photos by FanboyNation Craft Beer Expert, Dave Warner. Related

Long Beach Comic Con Photo Gallery

Related

Enabled Gaming Gaming News Gaming Reviews
Taco Bell Xbox
The Newest Taco Bell Box is an Xbox – Your Chance to Win a Taco Bell Xbox

Taco Bell and Xbox are partnering up to give fans a chance...

Exclusive Track Premiere from Madden NFL 19!

(July 26, 2018 – Los Angeles, CA) – Lakeshore Records today...

Star Ocean Anamnesis
8.0/10
The Most Intuitively Fun Gameplay of Any Mobile RPG – Star Ocean Anamnesis Review

Star Ocean Anamnesis is hands down the most fun and intuitive gameplay...

Comic Creator Interviews Comic/Graphic Novel News Comic/Graphic Novel Reviews Manga News Manga Reviews Novel/Novella Author Interviews Novel/Novella News Novel/Novella Reviews
Stan Lee, the Co-Creator of the Marvel Universe, Dead at 95

According to reports earlier today, Stanley Martin Lieber aka Stan the...

Five Questions for Gary Morgenstein About ‘A Mound Over Hell’

Gary Morgenstein is a journalist, public relations expert and author with...

Ralph Breaks the Internet Graphic Novel
Dark Horse Disney Ralph Breaks the Internet Graphic Novel Revealed

Dark Horse reveals new original Disney Ralph Breaks the Internet Graphic...

Apparel/Personal Maintenance News Apparel/Personal Maintenance Reviews Entertainment Product News Entertainment Product Reviews Food/Beverage Reviews Hardware News Hardware Reviews Mystery Box News Mystery Box Reviews
Eagle Eyes
Protect Your Eyes with Eagle Eyes Glasses – Eagle Eyes TV Kit Review

Eagle Eyes TV Kit review – Feel the difference and get...

Nooligan Talks About His New DC Collectibles Batman Family Line

Visual Artist Nooligan uses the influences of his First Nation ancestry along...

DC Collectibles Brings Batman Dark Nights: Metal to Life

Straight from the pages of the bestselling DARK NIGHTS: METAL comics series comes...

Arena Football Automotives MMA, Kick Boxing & Boxing Professional Wrestling
LFA 54 Full Results

Legacy Fighting Alliance (LFA) returned  to Costa Mesa, CA for another...

Lion Fight Promotions Logo
Lion Fight 50 Full Results

November 3, 2018 – Los Angeles – Lion Fight Promotions presents...

PFL 9 Lightweight and Light Heavyweight Semi-Final Results From Long Beach

Saturday, October 13, 2018 – Professional Fighters League (PFL) 9 took...

Adult Continuity Comics on the Can Cultural Junk Drawer Future Comic Rock Stars Is That Racist? Revisiting the Reviled THAT'S NOT ROTTEN! The B-Reel The Cantina Scene This Week in Crowdfunding What the HELL Did I just...?
Fantoy Comics presents: Harry Potter and the Cat Conjuring/Behold Tacocat/Harry Potter and the world wide web of lies!

more wacky hijinx with the Hogwarts kids and a tacocat.

Fantoy Comics presents: Harry Potter and the Cat Conjuring/Behold Tacocat!/Harry potter and the web of lies!

The next senses shattering episode of the increasingly subtitled Harry Potter...

Comics on the Can – Super Dinosaur

Comics on the can   Super Dinosaur   Writer – Robert...

Gaming Uncensored Toon-In-Talk
Coastal Commoners Ep 8 – Saying Farewell to Stan Lee

This week the commoner’s say farewell to Marvel Comics legend, Stan...

Coastal Commoners Ep 7 Mid-Term Elections!

Oh the headaches of elections and what can go wrong. We...

Coastal Commoners Ep 6 Synagogue Shooting and Antisemitism

This week on Coastal Commoners, Gary and R.C. discuss the Synagogue...

Music Interviews Music News Music Reviews
Deadpool 2 Vinyl Giveaway!

We are giving away a copy of Deadpool 2 Score Soundtrack on...

Crisis on Earth-X Soundtrack
Blake Neely Behind-the-Scenes Recording of Crisis on Earth-X Soundtrack

Check out this exclusive Behind-The-Scenes video with Blake Neely as he...

Rising Country Music Artist Kaylin Roberson Talks About her work with St. Jude

Kaylin Roberson is a singer, songwriter and pianist from Raleigh, North...

%d bloggers like this: