In an impressive turn of events, Disney has announced its acquisition of the United States National Security Agency. This is just the latest in Disney’s sweeping consumption of every IP brand and institution, following up after the rather recent acquisitions of the Marvel Comics brand, as well as Lucasfilm Ltd. just last year.
Those previous acquisitions were kept unbelievably well hidden up to the moment of their shocking announcement, and this one is no less surprising. It seems Disney’s global domination is almost complete. This extremely well kept secret completes Disney’s comprehensive IP library, which now encompasses each and every one of you reading this. With comprehensive files on each and every American, as well as many foreign nationals, this NSA acquisition could in fact offer Disney a much larger IP library than we can even conceive of. It will only become clear how far reaching this deal actually is as the weeks and months progress.
No one in the entertainment industry saw this one coming, and we have reached out to Disney with no returned communication so far. What does this mean for the behemoth entertainment conglomerate going forward? Disney’s plans for the massive new lot of characters this acquisition has afforded them are still unclear, however, they have announced, for Fall 2015 release, a biopic on Norm Redley of Shrimpton, Iowa, whoever that is.
In a press release, Disney CEO Bob Iger said, “Welcome to the fold, every man, woman, and child of America, and beyond. Now that we own your likeness, personal emails, personal phone calls, in fact everything you are, let Disney dream for you.”
We will bring you updates as the news unfolds.
Editor’s Note: April Fools!