Fanboy/Badboy – Why can’t I get the girl?

Costume SuperCentre Canada

Good morning my fellow fanboys and an extra special hello to my fangirls. Nico is back to answer your questions. This week, we received a relationship question that just makes Nico shake his head.

Hey Nico,

I went on this date the other night and she was 45 minutes late and didn’t let me know until about a half hour after we were supposed to meet up. I ended up spending $250 on dinner and drinks, on a restaurant that she picked. She kept playing with her phone and at the end of the night all I got was a quick peck on the cheek before she drove off. The whole date lasted an hour and a half and I was deflated. What do I do? I really like this girl.

J.C., Flagstaff, AZ.


HAHAHAHA, sucker. You got played and deserved it. She was 45 minutes late and like a chump you waited. Any decent human being would have told you ahead of time that they were running late, not let you wait around like a dog for its master to come home. She got a free meal and you got stuck with the check.

Nico doesn’t understand why so many of you guys are wussed out these days. Let Nico impart the wisdom of the ancients in contemporary language — your testicles do not have an expiration date, her uterus does.  Before he died, the legendary Anthony Quinn had his last child at 76, his wife was FIFTY (yes, Nico spelled it out for emphasis) years his junior.

Your problem is that you treated her like gold instead of milk. Men are the ones who age like wine and you’ve been tricked into believing otherwise. Don’t you remember hearing, “Girls mature faster?” Well, the omitted portion is, “…because they have a much shorter shelf life.” Either believe that you’re the grand prize or continue to be the consolation.

You want to be a man and respected as one, then act like it. Take charge. You set the tone, you set the pace, you plan it out to the last detail (have a back up plan to the back up plan) and if she deviates or wants to cut it short, then obviously she’s not having a good time and you end it. Man up, know when to take charge, know when to concede and know that your time is valuable. No girl, while planning a first date wants to hear from the guy, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” You are the one that asked her out! You are the one who needs to make the plans!

And remember, Nico never said spend all your money, he said, “You set the tone, you set the pace,” that means YOU control the spending.

Nico doesn’t make it a habit of quoting the English or pornographers, but these two quotes rings true in your case:

A foole & his money, be soone at debate: which after with sorow, repents him to late. – Thomas Tusser in Five Hundreth Pointes of Good Husbandrie, 1573.

Any millionaire playboy can live it up in a penthouse, but it takes a real man to be a hustler. – Larry Flint.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The views of Nico Pappadopolis do not necessarily reflect the views of FanboyNation, their editorial staff and other contributors. The views expressed are Nico’s and Nico’s alone.

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