Jim Carrey Leads the Dreary and Drab ‘Dark Crimes’

VANAPHASE™ the Vanadium powerhouse!

Dark Crimes

When thinking of the ideal cast for a grim murder mystery set in Poland, obviously the first choice is Jim Carrey. At least that was the genius idea that someone had when assembling the cast for director Alexandros AvranasDark Crimes, a film that finished its production in 2016 only to sit on the shelf before a very limited theatrical release this year. Now Dark Crimes arrives on DVD and Blu-ray and the mystery has been solved as to why this movie has sat of the shelf for two years. It’s a muddled, incoherent slog featuring a woefully miscast Carrey as the lead, complete with a wobbly Polish accent and a comatose screen presence.

Dark Crimes is based ever so loosely on a true story. David Grann wrote the story in The New Yorker entitled True Crime: A Postmodern Murder Mystery about Krystian Bala, an author who committed a murder and left clues to his crimes in his debut novel. One police officer thought that Bala’s novel was more than just a work of literary fiction and followed the clues that led to the author’s conviction for murder in 2007. It’s a wild and crazy story. Something so brazen and twisted would be incredibly hard to screw up. Well, they screwed it up all right.

Carrey stars as Tadek, a Polish police officer who has fallen out of favor in the department as well as at home. In an underground sex club, there has been a murder of a wealthy businessman. Investigating the crime, Tadek delves deeper and deeper into the seedy underbelly of his Polish town, deeply affecting his already warped psyche. Things get more complicated once Tadek discovers the writings of Kozlov (Marton Csokas), who fictional story practically retells every detail of the unsolved murder. The author professes his innocence and uses the media to smear his investigator, further diminishing his standing within the police department. Tadek follows the clues all the way to Kozlov’s girlfriend Kasia (Charlotte Gainsbourg). Everything in this grim and endlessly depressing story drives Tadek further and further into a rabbit hole of degeneracy and despair. It is, after all, Dark Crimes.

The one thing that is impressive about Dark Crimes is how it’s able to make its sordid tale of sex clubs, sadomasochism, and murder most foul so incredibly boring. The cinematography by Michal Englert is the lone shining spot of this film as it perfectly captures the drab and dreary despair of the film. However, director Alexandros Avranas struggle to make two successive shots work together, leaving Dark Crimes with a disjointed feel that makes you think that perhaps every other scene of the film was slashed and burned.

One must assume that Jim Carrey had to check all of his charisma at customs. Nobody is expecting Carrey to bring his rubber-faced wackiness to his police detective but at least a bit of personality. Instead, Carrey is practically in a doped up stupor throughout the film. The one time that Carrey seems to show the faintest bit of life in this dreadful film is the incredibly awkward sex scene with Charlotte Gainsbourg, complete with oddly placed shots of Carrey’s naked back – not his backside, mind you, but his back as his hips thrust. It’s a ghastly shot in an unbearable sex scene.

Of course, Dark Crimes concludes with a twist. It’s not one of those twists that makes you gasp and rethink everything that came before. It’s more of a twist that makes go “Huh?” and shrug as you quickly turn the movie off. It’s perfectly fitting that a movie so dreary, so drab, so damn boring would conclude with an ineffectual twist. Dark Crimes is a movie that really thinks it has something to say about the darkest corners of the human mind only to discover that they’re not exactly dark, just completely hollow.


Leave a Reply

Animation/Anime Interviews Animation/Anime News Animation/Anime Reviews Film/TV Interviews Film/TV News Film/TV Review
It’s the Thanksgiving From Hell in the Teaser for Ike Barinholtz’s Contentious Comedy ‘The Oath’

We’ve all been there. Thanksgiving surrounded by immediate family and then...

Zombies Run Amok on the Ice in ‘Ahockalypse’

There aren’t many sports as violent as hockey. It’s a game...

Matt Groening’s ‘Disenchantment’ Plays Like a Medieval ‘Futurama’

Even if Matt Groening hadn’t made another series after The Simpsons,...

Event News Event Reviews
Transformers: The Movie Theatrical Debut
32 Years Ago Today, Was The Transformers: The Movie Theatrical Debut

On this day, 32 years ago, the world was graced with The...

Blizzard SDCC 2018
Blizzard SDCC 2018 – Blizzard Entertainment Brings Massive Lineup to SDCC

Blizzard in SDCC 2018 – Blizzard Entertainment brings Overwatch, StarCraft, and...

Nuclear Blast SDCC 2018
Nuclear Blast SDCC 2018 – Nuclear Blast Teams Up with JSR and Stern Pinball

Nuclear Blast SDCC 2018 – Nuclear Blast Teams Up with JSR...

Enabled Gaming Gaming News Gaming Reviews
Exclusive Track Premiere from Madden NFL 19!

(July 26, 2018 – Los Angeles, CA) – Lakeshore Records today...

Star Ocean Anamnesis
The Most Intuitively Fun Gameplay of Any Mobile RPG – Star Ocean Anamnesis Review

Star Ocean Anamnesis is hands down the most fun and intuitive gameplay...

Ghostbusters World
Strap On Your Jumpsuits and Proton Packs – Ghostbusters World First Look

Ghostbusters World First Look at SDCC2018 – When someone asks you if...

Comic Creator Interviews Comic/Graphic Novel News Comic/Graphic Novel Reviews Manga News Manga Reviews Novel/Novella Author Interviews Novel/Novella News Novel/Novella Reviews
Five Questions for Gary Morgenstein About ‘A Mound Over Hell’

Gary Morgenstein is a journalist, public relations expert and author with...

Ralph Breaks the Internet Graphic Novel
Dark Horse Disney Ralph Breaks the Internet Graphic Novel Revealed

Dark Horse reveals new original Disney Ralph Breaks the Internet Graphic...

black torch
Black Torch – New Supernatural, Action Manga from Viz Media

VIZ Media releases a new, supernatural story with the release of...

Apparel/Personal Maintenance News Apparel/Personal Maintenance Reviews Entertainment Product News Entertainment Product Reviews Food/Beverage Reviews Hardware News Hardware Reviews Mystery Box News Mystery Box Reviews
Chuck Billy of Testament Talks About His Signature Vaporizer

Chuck Billy of Testament talks about, “The Chief” his signature vaporizer,...

anime pls
Anime Pls by Bioworld – Exclusive Interview

Bioworld Merchandising is a pop culture product expert. The company is considered...

heaven's feel
Fate/stay night [Heaven’s Feel] THE MOVIE I. presage flower Blu-ray Release

TLDR Aniplex of America announced that box office hit, Fate/stay night ...

Arena Football Automotives MMA, Kick Boxing & Boxing Professional Wrestling
WOW Announces New TV Taping Schedule

Women of Wrestling (WOW) will be hosting two nights of TV...

Catching up with Collegiate Take Down King Joe Gonzales at OCG

What can be said about Joe Gonzales? Well, everything really. Gonzales...

NJPW G1 Special from San Francisco Results

New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW) the King of Sports returns to...

Adult Continuity Comics on the Can Cultural Junk Drawer Future Comic Rock Stars Is That Racist? Revisiting the Reviled THAT'S NOT ROTTEN! The B-Reel The Cantina Scene This Week in Crowdfunding What the HELL Did I just...?
Fantoy Comics #3

The defense against the dark arts temps start rolling in...

Fantoy Comics by Michael Colbert

Another slice of daily Hogwarts life as told with Funko Pops...

Fantoy Comics by Michael Colbert

A new comic strip focusing on the regular old days at...

Gaming Uncensored Toon-In-Talk
Gaming Uncensored: Year in Review 2016

A look back at the year in gaming. Related

Gaming Uncensored Roundtable: December 2016

December’s roundtable discusses story in games with Chad, Josh, and Spencer....

Gaming Uncensored: Podcast #349

Jamie reflects on some of his time with the HTC Vive....

Music Interviews Music News Music Reviews
Crisis on Earth-X Soundtrack
Blake Neely Behind-the-Scenes Recording of Crisis on Earth-X Soundtrack

Check out this exclusive Behind-The-Scenes video with Blake Neely as he...

Rising Country Music Artist Kaylin Roberson Talks About her work with St. Jude

Kaylin Roberson is a singer, songwriter and pianist from Raleigh, North...

MTV Unveils Performers for ‘TRL Live’ on October 3rd at 3 p.m. E.T.

NEW YORK, NY (September 26, 2017) – MTV today announced that...

%d bloggers like this: