Comics On The Can – Salvation Run (#6 of 7)

SalvationSALVATION RUN #6 (OF 7)

Writer – Matthew Sturges

Pencils – Sean Chen

Inks – Walden Wong

Another entry in my rambling, editor unaware, multi-column theme conceit. This time around it’s the “Vs” theme. Check out my first entry “Batman V Superman XXX” in my Adult Continuity column.

Comics on the can is a scenario where I grab the top comic from a box I got several years ago and read it while pooping (peeing is optional). Then I pass on my thoughts and feeling about it to you, the loyal reader who apparently isn’t so bothered by over sharing.

Joker V Lex Luthor?

These late winter, early spring months have been leaning hard on the INSERT SUPERHERO V INSERT OTHER SUPERHERO motif. This makes sense as a natural extension of the place superhero and/or comic book movies now occupy in the zeitgeist. Why? I’ll leave that to my next Cultural Junkdrawer. Anyway You may have heard of a small, limited release art film called Batman V Superman: Dawn of justice:Die Harder: The Spawning 7 and you know Captain America: Civil War: Avengers 2.5 will be grabbing your hard earned scratch soon. Not to mention Daredevil V Punisher, Justice League V Teen Titans, Ted Cruz V wanting to punch Ted Cruz in his smug looking cakehole and Supergirl v Flash. I put a small ‘v’ for Supergirl v Flash because they don’t fight they just have a race, make cute eyes at each other and eat ice cream.

Superhero fights are part and parcel in the comic book world; everyone wants to flex nuts especially when you get punched through walls for kicks. The old school team-ups even follow a particular pattern: Heroes meet – either through the teamed up villains mechanization or simply super powered folk’s tendency to punch first, ask questions later – A fight ensues. This is pure fan service by the way; a reference point to be set when the school yard or Magic: The Gathering: You spent $35 on a trading card soda and pizza break debate breaks out. So the heroes slug it out then realize “You refrained from hitting me with that bus filled with people… Hey, you’re a Hero!”

“You are too!, I’m sorry. I’m upset because my arch nemesis is hanging out with some new guy. I saw them at Menchies.”

“Did this new guy have, like, metal octopus type arms coming outta his back?”

“In fact he did.”

“That’s MY arch nemesis! Let’s go get those fuckers!”

I’m paraphrasing, of course.

The villains teaming up was always a bit more entertaining. They don’t give a wet magic lasso about busloads of innocent people and, presumably, they aren’t bothered by killing. So even though you know Lex Luthor won’t kill Doctor Octopus it COULD happen. This makes super villain “getting to know you fights” pretty brief…

“Your robot arms are impressive. I look forward to using them in my next plan to defeat Superman!”

“Superman! Guy sounds like a tool to me.”

“You got no idea.”

“Spider-Man is my enemy. Some punk kid who hops around every time we fight.”

“Ugh, sounds like a pain in the ass. I bet he quips.”

“Never shuts up.”

“I’m jealous. Superman’s humor is so stale, I could use a good laugh… You know Menchies’ now has dole pineapple whip!”

“Serious! I’ll find the nearest one on Yelp!”

I’m paraphrasing, of course.

It’s odd, though, that the bad guys are quicker to put their personal bullshit aside in favor of defeating their enemies. One would think that the myopia that characterizes your average villain would cause more problems than solutions.

That’s what Salvation Run is all about.

Amanda Waller uses the Suicide Squad to round up all the villains of the DC universe. Presumably Waller has a comprehensive DC pull list at her local comic store because dudes like Flash’s Rogues gallery, former President Lex Luthor and “so old and powerful he makes Dick Cheney look like an amature” Vandal Savage have been bagged along with second stringers like Hyena and Crazy Quilt (da fuq?). The whole motley bunch are then tossed onto a primitive planet via Boom Tube and left to fend for themselves.

Focusing on the bad guys when they have to worry about some giant mobile fanged plant trying to eat them is a great idea. These cats already have social grooming problems as it is; take away the rules and raise the stakes and watch the sparks fly.

I’ve read issue six and it seems like an ass-load of sparks have flown already. The two strongest personalities; Lex and Joker have assumed leadership of two factions consisting of the majority of the exiles (Vandal Savage has his own little evil manipulative Charlie’s Angels thing going on elsewhere). Management styles couldn’t be more different for the alpha males of the rogues gallery. To put it in Dungeons And Dragons: 2nd edition terms Lex is lawful evil and Joker pushes the boundaries of the chaotic evil envelope. Lex wants to hold things together and get off the prison planet… under his superior leadership, naturally. Joker… well, I think you can figure out where the Joker stands with the whole authority figure and maintaining order bit. To ratchet up the tension they bad guys have captured Martian Manhunter and Lex (that big meanie) has forbade Killer Croc from eating him. When two of the exiles are caught giving some food to Manhunter and Luthor denies Croc another snack, shit really hits the fan. Joker pushes the tension till it breaks, ok… he bitch slaps Luthor… then Lex and the clown prince of crime go at one another real savage like.

Fights can inform character just like any other actions and this fight is no exception. Luthor is sick of Joker’s shit; a lot of anger and frustration come out in Lex’s assault. This may not seem congruent with Lex’s character but for a cat that thinks he has all the answers and very little challenge to his authority, dealing with the Joker would be a particular type of irritant. Herding criminal knuckleheads into working together while the local flora and fauna are trying to food you must be hard enough. Add in a smart-ass psychopath who cultivates chaos pulling at the threads and even someone as calmly sociopathic as Luthor will eventually snap. As for the Joker pushing Luthor to this point it is the foundation of his philosophy; he’s thrilled to make someone want to kill him. He’s enjoying the shit outta Lex becoming unhinged. Proves the Joker’s point. He likes it even more because Lex can’t match his ferocity or entirely lose himself in the blood lust.

Short answer – Joker wins the fight. But as he’s about to jam his knife into Luthor’s skull boom tubes open and a swarm of Parademons attack!

Salvation Run is a great idea even if you have to suspend a large amount of disbelief to get to where the story sets up. Waller’s black ops shenanigans aside folks like Luthor and Savage wield a lot of influence and political power. Someone like Mirror Master might not be missed but those two guys would be. Having these characters smash against one another, figuratively and literally, is great juicy fun. I’ve always felt that the villains, when done well, are way more interesting than the heroes. Sticking them in a hothouse scenario where life is on the line only intensifies the interest. To draw from Heat Wave’s opening monologue “Why? To watch it burn, no other reason.”

I get how he feels.

THINGS TANGENTIALLY RELATED TO THE COLUMN THAT I COULDN’T FIT IN ORGANICALLY

I cheated a bit from my rules; Salvation Run wasn’t the next book in the box. But seeing Joker and Luthor at each other’s throats was too serendipitous for my high concept theme crap to pass up.

According to the Wikipedia entry Salvation Run was based on a pitch from George R. R. Martin. Naturally DC Editors avoided the presumed rape scenes, the lesbian three way between Catwoman, Scandal Savage and Cheetah, killing Joker, Lex, Martian Manhunter, Captain Cold, Man Bat… pretty much the wholesale slaughter of the DC villains gallery, Gorilla Grod sodomizing Weather Wizard to death and a mysterious character that only says “jimminy jillikers” in the original pitch.

Yes, it’s true; Menchies’ does really have Dole pineapple whip. I’ve had it twice already this week!

I keep picturing myself stealing Ted Cruz’s favorite baseball cap and holding it over my head as he struggles to grab it… Is this wrong?

I have no idea who Crazy Quilt is but they should’ve thought the name thing through a bit more. Just sayin.

This book has Captain Cold, Heat Wave and Vandal Savage in it. Legends of Tomorrow has brought these characters a long way into the mainstream.

Same goes for Deadshot and Killer Croc in Suicide Squad.

If the DC cinematic universe Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) was part of this line up Killer Croc would’ve eaten him first.

NEXT: I’ve bent my rules again and picked up the Civil War GN for obvious reasons.

LATER: Looks like another Ultimate X-Men title.

Shop Deadpool tees in our officially licensed Marvel store!

Leave a Reply

Animation/Anime Interviews Animation/Anime News Animation/Anime Reviews Film/TV Interviews Film/TV News Film/TV Review
Clean Slate Review
A Special New Year Treat, Fresh Off the Boat 312 Clean Slate Review

A special Chinese New Year episode filled with American Culture – Fresh...

Split
M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Split’ is Dreadful Despite James McAvoy’s Brilliant Performance

The question that surrounds the release of any new movie by...

War on Everyone
‘War on Everyone’ is Sleazy, Immoral, and an Absolute Blast

The latest film from John Michael McDonagh opens with high speed...

Enabled Gaming Gaming News Gaming Reviews
Yakuza 0 Review
7.3/10
An Epic Japanese Crime Story – Yakuza 0 Review [PS4]

The Yakuza series has been around since 2006 and have grown...

Atelier Shallie Plus now available for Playstation Vita

Koei Tecmo have just released the latest installment in the Atelier...

fog of war iii
Fog of War – New In-Depth Dawn of War III Trailer

Relic Entertainment and SEGA have today released the latest trailer for...

Comic Creator Interviews Comic/Graphic Novel News Comic/Graphic Novel Reviews Manga News Manga Reviews Novel/Novella Author Interviews Novel/Novella News Novel/Novella Reviews
naruto
Viz Media Announces New Partners for Naruto

VIZ Media continues to expand consumer product licenses for its hit...

one-punch man
Viz Media, Funko, and ThreeZero Collaborate for One-Punch Man

VIZ Media continues to generate momentum for its smash hit anime...

kitsu
VIZ Media Invests In Anime Start-Up Company KITSU

Kitsu, a startup changing the way the community experiences anime, announced...

Apparel/Personal Maintenance News Apparel/Personal Maintenance Reviews Entertainment Product News Entertainment Product Reviews Food/Beverage Reviews Hardware News Hardware Reviews Mystery Box News Mystery Box Reviews
WrestleMania Crate
Loot Crate’s Slam Crate’s Road to WrestleMania Crate

Get ready for the biggest event in World Wrestling Entertainment with...

one-punch man
Viz Media, Funko, and ThreeZero Collaborate for One-Punch Man

VIZ Media continues to generate momentum for its smash hit anime...

Dok Talk CR25
The Dok Talk CR25 Voice Activated 5 Device Charger

Cut the mess, the stress, and impress with The Dok Talk...

Arena Football Automotives MMA, Kick Boxing & Boxing Professional Wrestling
Combate Americas Appoints Finance & Sports Industry Leader as Chairman

From Combate Americas – NEW YORK, January 11 — Combate Americas,...

Lucha Underground, ‘Evil Rising’ Airs Wednesday, January 4 on El Rey Network

Johnny Mundo and The Mack face off in their most intense...

Combate Americas Announces Four Fights for the Mexico City January 19

From Combate Americas – NEW YORK – January 3, 2017 –...

Adult Continuity Comics on the Can Cultural Junk Drawer Future Comic Rock Stars Is That Racist? Revisiting the Reviled THAT'S NOT ROTTEN! The B-Reel The Cantina Scene This Week in Crowdfunding What the HELL Did I just...?
New Year’s Resolution Begins with ‘Country Heat’ Days 5, 6 & 8

Days 5 & 6: No, I didn’t forget to do days...

Cultural Junkdrawer – Pop Culture Resolutions for 2017

Hey, 2017, new year, new you?!?! The starting days of any...

New Year’s Resolution Begins with ‘Country Heat’ Day 4

Day 4: It has gone from leg pain to ab pain...

Event News Event Reviews
Santa Makes Phone Calls in Time for Christmas

NORTH POLE, Alaska, Dec. 20, 2016 /PRNewswire/ — With just days to...

The 2016 2nd Annual Great American Comic Convention

  This past weekend, Las Vegas, NV hosted the 2nd Annual...

Bluefin Concludes 2016 with a Special Year-End Warehouse Holiday Sale

Bluefin Concludes 2016 with a Special Year-End Warehouse Holiday Sale Come...

Gaming Uncensored Growing Up Geek The Popcorn Podcast Toon-In-Talk
Popcorn Podcast Presents: Nintendo Switch Commentary

On this special episode of the Popcorn Podcast Chad, Izola and...

Gaming Uncensored: Year in Review 2016

A look back at the year in gaming.

Gaming Uncensored Roundtable: December 2016

December’s roundtable discusses story in games with Chad, Josh, and Spencer....

Music Interviews Music News Music Reviews
Stan Lee’s LA Comic Con: Interview w/ Sonya Belousova

At last month’s Stan Lee’s LA Comic Con event, I had...

Mike Hill Bass Lives for ‘Love and War’

Love and War is a pop rock collaborative project that is...

Sheena Easton Headlines Concert for Survivors of Traumatic Brain Injury

PALM SPRINGS, Calif., Oct. 19, 2016 /PRNewswire/ — The Neuro Vitality Center...